Sweet Connor

Well, my baby is officially 4 months old as of the 23rd! Wow, how time flies. It is amazing the way it is happening so much faster this time around. So, here are a few things I don't want to forget about this time:

• Started rice cereal and sweet potatoes and is already a fan! He is learning to control his tongue still, but smiles, coos and blows raspberries at us while eating.
• Slept for 8 hours last night! He ate at 7:30 and woke at 3:30 without a sound in between! Then he slept again until 6:30! YAY Sleep!
• Starting to recognize his hands and loves to put them in his mouth.
• Very content and chill, loves to sit back and watch.
• Loves his Hippo (a blue little lovie just like Landon's raffie)
• Loves his paci.
• Loves to watch Landon and giggle at him.
• Poops ALL the time!
• Giggles when I change his diaper.
• Giggles when I blow on his tummy.
• Still loves his swing and can easily be rocked to sleep in it.
• Coos constantly.
• Loves to be read to.
• Sits well in his bumbo chair.
• Does not like his nails clipped, getting out of the bath or having his nose cleaned out!
• Has almost outgrown our Safeseat carseat due to his length...at 4 months!

It is a pure joy, watching Connor grow. He is so precious. We continue to get comments that he is looking more and more like me and my side of the family. As he grows, he does in some ways look more like Landon, in others, less. He is such a sweet little person and I am so thankful God gave him to us to take care of. Just wanted to update you on my sweet "Connor-bear". :)

Rainy Day

Usually I try to be very positive when posting as not to complain about my life, of which I recognize, is very blessed. I esp. realize how blessed I am when I consider those whose children are ill, who cannot have children or who are for some reason, separated from their children. So, please forgive me for using this BLOG as an outlet today. I understand if you don't want to read further. :)

So, sleep training Landon has been going well until today. He has screamed probably 3 times out of the last 8 nights, which is such an improvement. He has taken every nap until today. Currently he is screaming and slamming his drawers in and out. I am not sure what else because I cannot see him in the video camera we have in his room- he is out of range of it. This morning we had a playdate and he had time out 3 times, hit me, scratched me and was just not himself. Sometimes it seems he is possessed. Well, he just woke up Connor so I have to go. Sorry for the negative update, but this is me, raw, raising a 3 year old, sleepy and trying to balance working too.

Well, Connor went back to sleep after I gave him his paci. He is such a sweet baby but has been waking up very frequently over the past two nights. He screams and I go feed him for fear he will wake Landon. I guess he is only 4 months old and has some time to grow out of this. I am thankful he is such a sweet baby. He is definitely chill...as he needs to be with Landon being so high strung.

Sometimes I just wonder what I have done wrong. Then I talk to my friends of 3 year olds and realize it is just a stage. I could cry a river right now. I want to do the best thing by him. Stan and I have been giving him a lot of individual attention and using positive rewards, trying to help him with what I know has been a very hard transition in having a sibling.

Sometimes, it is just plain hard. God does not ever desert us though and is holding my hand even right now. He sustains me and is bringing me through the book of Ruth right now with my bible study. He has placed amazing women and mentors in my life to help me parent Landon and Connor in the best way possible, being the woman and mom of God that he has called me to be.

Stan and I are doing well, esp. considering the lack of sleep we are both enduring. He is a wonderful dad to both boys and has been so helpful with cooking meals and taking care of the boys so I can get out for some much needed breaks and me time. I do miss the romance, though. I often feel like if we are going to have a date, I have to do all the planning. I want him to hold my hand, to take me to a movie, to sit and talk with me under the stars. I know these days will come again, but I really do miss him. He is my best friend and a wonderful husband. I only wish I got to spend more time with him.

It's hard dividing my time between my family and my work. Work is something I love but it is certainly an emotional and physical drain when I am so tired. It seems that naps are hard to come by for one reason or another. I know last Friday I worked out, cleaned our floors, cleaned our bathroom and took a shower while they napped. At least I got to work out, but realistically, I can only do it once a week. I miss that too.

For all that I have given up, I have gained the most wonderful thing in the world, a second child. I would not trade Connor for anything and the way he has impacted Landon, though difficult on all of us, is truly the best thing we could have done for Landon. I know that having a sibling will make Landon a more well rounded person and also less entitled. I want to raise my boys to serve God, be humble, loving, responsible, well adjusted adults who know without a doubt not only how much their heavenly father loves them, but how very much their mom and dad love them.

I want them to both be able to sense our love at every stage of development, to call us now matter how old they are and to know that we would drop anything for them. I want out love to model Christ's love and in writing I recognize that that love is very sacrificial. I want to sacrifice my time, my own desires, my longing for a date night, etc., for my children. I want them to always know that whatever Stan and I do, we do out of love for them. I am grateful beyond words to have Landon and Connor and want them to always know that they are Stan and I's treasures, never to compare to anything else.

Thanks for letting me vent. I appreciate your prayers and your friendship and for accepting me on good days and those which are challenging. I also appreciate my little angel who called just as I was finishing this post. YOU are what I want to be to my children.

Cole Boys' Stats

Well, my two boys could not be more opposite in their size...

Landon had his 3 year old well visit on Friday and weighed in at 26 pounds, measuring 35 inches- 10th percentile for both- which I might add is a big improvement from the 4th! He was hilarious during the vision screening and ended up getting a 20/40 which was mostly due to his ADHD like behavior in the office...

Connor went today for his 4 month check up and weighed in at 17.15 pounds, measuring 27 inches- 90th and greater than the 95th %tiles respectively. He cooed through the whole exam and showed off his great looking ears, letting us know that sleep training is a go ahead.

I cannot believe that I have two opposite ends of the spectrum! It is quite funny. It seems that Connor is much more interested in eating and moving than Landon was. We also got the green light to go ahead and start Connor on solids. Boy, he will be thrilled. Currently, he sits at the table with us while we eat with his hands in his mouth and drool pouring out. He even looked at Stan's food tonight and put out his bottom lip- like he was sad he couldn't get any!

The biggest challenge of late has been sleep. As my friend Erin put it, "Sleep, where are you? Landon has been screaming out at bedtime, at around 1 and around 5. We have tried everything this PNP knows to do from sticker charts to ignoring. It was great to get some new advice from Landon's pediatrician and so far so good. I really think that it is helpful just to tell Stan..."The pediatrician said..." Sounds a lot better than little old me. :) We are on lock down starting at bedtime and do not go in for any screaming (the whiny type of late) and are setting an alarm for 7:00 am to play music, signaling that Landon can get up.

Sooooooo, Connor's sleep has been all over the place- literally. He has spent many a night in the bonus room, the swing downstairs and his own room. Landon has woken him which has made me just a little angry... We are hoping that Landon will begin sleeping through the night again, then we can be more consistent and help Connor. Right now, it is called survival mode. Connor likes the swing and he likes to be fed and if we do both, he sleeps. :)

I love these two boys. Landon is putting more and more together daily and is such a loving child. His reward for sleeping through the night is a sticker. Once he gets 6, he gets an outing with Stan or I by himself. Yesterday I took him to the park and he kept saying, "Just mommy and Landon. Nobody else." I can only imagine how much his little world has been rocked with the birth of Connor. But, it is all worth it when Landon says, "I love my little brother" and promptly kisses him on the head. Connor just beams looking at Landon - he adores his big brother all ready. It is such a blessing to witness.

Well, I am off to go chill. Kristen time is hard to come by these days, but I wouldn't it for anything.

Meet Little Zaiya

My little nephew was born on Friday February 5th at 3:02 pm, weighing 6 pounds and measuring 19 1/4 inches. His name is Zaiya Barack Obas. He is so so tiny and just adorable. Karen did great and is just so in love...such a blessed time. It is so amazing how very small he is and to realize that Connor was a newborn only 3 months ago. He is so big now it is just crazy. Let this be a reminder to me to snuggle my little men as often as I can- I just can't imaging how fast things will continue to go. Here's to every moment. Here's to new life! Congrats Karen and Marc!

Snow Day Continued...

Our fun in the snow continued today! I actually took Connor out to see his first snow and we snagged this first family snow picture- thanks to our neighbor, Sam. I can't believe it actually turned out!! :) Connor was a trooper and was calm and collected the whole time we were outside in the freezing cold...of course I did have him in a little mummy suit!

Landon and Porter got some sledding in again and had a blast! These boys have so much fun together!

Thanks to our neighbors, Sam and Stephanie, for getting this shot that I love! Mommies are often not actually in pictures, so I will treasure this one. :)

So, it does actually snow in NC sometimes. We shall see how long it takes things to get back into working order. I heard that all the roads are still pretty bad as we don't have a whole lot of fancy snow equipment for scraping...at least Stan can work remotely. Wish I could, but I don't think technology has gotten that far yet!!

Snow Day!

I haven't seen snow like this since I was a senior in college! What fun we had today out in the snow with Landon. Last night he could hardly get to sleep. He was so excited and it truly brought back memories of when I was a kid and so excited about going to sleep and anticipating the white blanket of snow that I would be able to dive into when morning came!

Landon was SO excited to get out this morning that he was up at 6:00 and ready to go out by 7:00! We somehow managed to keep him inside until about 9:30- thanks to a yummy breakfast of french toast, grapes and OJ along with some Curious George for good measure!

He played with our neighbor, Porter. They had a blast sledding down Porter's driveway. I must admit, it was a lot of fun to go flying down the hill. Unfortunately the sled had an accident and it has a crack in it. Thankfully I wasn't on it when it cracked...Stan would have loved to make jokes about that.

Connor didn't make it out in the snow...maybe tomorrow for a quick snow picture. He and Landon did start the morning off with watching JJ the Jet Plane on Internet TV. What a riot. I cannot believe my 3 month old is looking at a computer screen. My how times have changed...don't get me wrong, this was a brief stint for the picture, Connor does not watch TV (had to clarify that!).

Here are some updated pictures of our growing baby boy. He is 14 weeks old and just a delight. I am starting to work on sleep habits...oh how I am remembering the fun of that. I hope he trains quickly b/c this mama is tired. I do have to say, he is awfully hard to resist for extra cuddle time. :) Enjoy!

Maternity Leave Reflections

Well, tomorrow is the day. I head back to work and reality will set in again. I am feeling fine about it...aside from knowing I will miss my one-one time with my sweet baby Connor on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

I am so thankful I have such a great place to work that is supportive of me being a mommy and working part time. What a blessing!

As I reflect back on the past 12 weeks, it is amazing the things I have learned and the ways I have grown as a person. Experiencing the miracle of life is such a life changing event. It has made me thankful for my loving husband. Though there are times when he is "such a man", he is truly one of the most loving, giving people I have ever known and he is a great dad. It has made me appreciate myself and who God created me to be and the need to nurture that person in order to be the best wife and mom that I can be. It has of course, made me just sit in amazement at the blessing of my two boys. I love being a mom and I love the fact that I have so many friends and loved ones who can support me in this journey.

This past week has actually been a tough one with Landon. We ended up having to basically strip his room naked (no toys, no books, no extra blankets, basically nothing fun) after some very bad behavior. What a difficult day to have to tell my baby that I was angry, and this is what angry looks like, all the while keeping my composure and not yelling.

Stan and I grew from that and are really trying to do our very best to teach him humility and gratefulness. Teaching character traits is a toughie.

Connor is not sleeping through the night but Stan is actually helping out a lot when I am willing to ask him. Our marriage has grown stronger for our realization of the need to communicate- and even more so with two kiddos!

Landon and Connor are starting to bond as Connor smiles when Landon walks in the room and Landon giggles...those events make all the long nights totally worthwhile.

I have had so much support in the past 12 weeks. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I thank you for the coffees, the phone calls, the letters, the cards, the flowers, the free babysitting, the plentiful hugs available whenever I need them, the love, the prayers, the food, the gifts, the just plain goodness from the people I love.

Wish me luck, tomorrow will be a long day away from my sweet baby boy.