The Mama

As I look above at the picture my sister sweetly edited for me, I am reminded of the fact that I am the mama.  So long I wanted this and yearned for the opportunity to care for precious babies.  What gifts they all three are!  I cannot believe that I am here...

I am the mama when the baby is born, getting to hold her first, tears streaming down my face at the miracle, prayed over for so long, created within me.

I am the mama when the baby turns toddler and takes his first steps, into my arms, beaming with pride and a glimmer in his eye, seemingly, just for me.

I am the mama when the toddler turns waddler and begins shouting, "NO" or "Mine".  I am the mama who must exercise patience like never before, guiding this little being into the next stage...and the next.  I am this same waddlers mama when he looks up at me with big brown eyes, saying, "Mama, will you rock me?"

I am the mama when the waddler turns three...and exercises his new found ability to pee in the trash can in his room.  He is, afterall, potty training and mama is feeding the new baby...

I am the mama when the 3 year old turns 4, when he starts identifying more with his daddy, needing my hugs less and less often...saying even, "I love daddy more than you..."

I am the mama when the 4 year old turns 5 and enters Kindergarten.  I am his mama when I hear about him being bullied on the bus...I am his mama when he tells me instead of hitting back, he cries on his way to school... now I am mama bear...

I am on my way to discovering more and more about being a mama.  I have to figure out things like bullying and how to deal with this appropriately and so that the correct lesson is learned by all...I have to temper my own desire to buy things I want as not to model entitlement to my children...I have to exercise creativity like never before whether that be with crafts to keep kids occupied or coming up with the best parenting strategies in the heat of the moment- like when my 5 year old refused to play soccer last Friday- flat. out. refused. to go on the field.  We had had the talk about finishing well, after he told me he didn't like soccer the week before.  We talked about commitment, we talked about the fact that it cost money to be on the team and to have the ball, cleats and shin guards...But he dug his heels in and would not budge.  If you know Landon, you understand.  What am I to do in that moment?  I have to be thinking on my feet...with no REM sleep in the last 6 weeks...OK, think..."You have to stay here and watch your team.  No, we are not dragging your whole family of 5 home, who came to support you.  We are staying here...you can watch or play." FINE, I will sit and pout...and Oh, and those nice soccer pictures that are today...
you don't get one of those, mama.

I am the mama who gets up in the night, feeds the precious newborn and watches her thrive because of that.

I am the mama who looks up recipes to prepare new kid friendly meals.

I am also the mama who has learned to graciously accept meals and help from friends...

I am the mama who does the laundry, sorting, folding, organizing, placing in drawers...only to start all over again.

Oh, and dishes are the same deal.

I am the mama who also works outside the home????  What?

I am also that mama who has been blessed with a partner, the daddy.  A super duper daddy, if you will.  All of the above, he supports, provides and does if he is able...and encourages me along the way.

I am also the mama who has been chosen by God to parent these three precious lives. Humbling.

And, I am the mama whose baby is calling my name, as she has been all morning, leaving me without a shower and I must go pick up my sweet 5 year old from school and find out how the bus ride with the bully was this morning and where to go from here.  I am the mama who has only this limited time to think and process.  But, what a gift it is, to be the mama.

One Month

Wow!  It is so hard to believe that Lindsay Jane is already one month old!  I have decided that I will attempt to take monthly pictures this time around to show how much our girl is growing!  We went for her 1 month check up yesterday to find out that she is already 10 pounds!!  Looking at the above picture, I am sure you are not surprised!  Her weight is the 71%tile, height, 50th and head circumference the 70th.  She is growing too fast already, growing out of her newborn diapers.

The boys are adapting to having a new sibling.  I would say that Connor has had an easier time than Landon.  Landon is loving Kindergarten and soccer, but is kinda having a 5 year old response similar to his 3 year old response when Connor was born.  In other words, instead of tantruming and saying things like, "She needs to go back in your tummy" or "If you put her in the swing and leave her there, I won't have a baby sister anymore" (both of these things were said about Connor), he is mouthing off to Stan and I, saying things like, "I guess you don't want me anymore..." Booooo.  We are really trying to reassure him and provide the best positive environment we can, without allowing him to get away with saying things that are disrespectful.  It has been hard.

Connor has decided it is time to potty train...what?  Really, what timing!!  Today marked day number 5 of him going number 2 in the potty, so now he will receive his Diego Rescue pack... :)  He is doing great and I am always amazed at how much better kids do once you just give up and let them do the guiding...novel...I know. :)  Connor loves to hold Lindsay...sometimes too much.  But, I am really enjoying watching him love her up.  Connor is almost three, so he is having his defiant moments as well, presenting another challenge for us.  But, Stan and I are working together as a team and learning how to play zone... :)

Well, Lindsay Jane has finally decided to drift off, so I will go sleep as well.  Hope you enjoyed the update and the picture of our little love. :)

Five

How are we doing, you ask?  Here is an update with pictures and brief descriptions...I have but so much time.  :)  Things are going great and I even crazilly went to a conference today with my newborn in tow.  That is the nice things about working in Pediatrics...

Lindsay has already started smiling!  Look at this picture!  I love it and definitely will reserve this for the wedding video one day... :)

Most of the time, I am doing the picture taking, so I am in very few shots.  Mom took this one of me introducing Lindsay to my baby brother while he was in town from his Naval assignment in Spain.  This is what I have been up to...showing off my baby girl and loving spending time with all of her many admirers...Uncle John being a big one!

Now, this picture kinda sums it up...Connor holds Lindsay whenever he can get his hands on her.  He loves her and "protects her".  He is the lovingest (I know, not a real word) little thing ever.  Landon is like, "Yikes..., another one..."

Connor seriously holds her just about every day.  He is so proud.

Landon has kept up with his routine which has been the best thing for him.  He is loving Kindergarten and soccer.  This picture was taking after a fun day at his school with face painting!  He has really taken to reading and is really making us proud.

Connor is about to turn three.  I can hardly believe it.  He is some kind of all about Diego, notice the "rescue pack".  This shirt would be worn 24-7 if I let him...  He is having a little bit of a teary time at Daycare, missing his brother, but overall, he is doing great with the adjustment of having a new sibling.

And..our Lindsay Jane.  Here she is having her first bath...Not really a fan.

But she enjoyed the snuggles afterwards...

Here is her content face, very similar to Landon's as a newborn.

And here is my girl...I think she is happy to be part of the Cole clan.  We are in love.