Bringing up my boys

I have recently started reading James Dobson's Bringing Up Boys again. What a wonderful read for a boy mom. I am not sure why, but the "boyness" of my boys has recently been taken to a new level. As you can see in the picture below, the apple "don't fall too far from the tree".

I often find my three boys shirts off dancing, doing push ups, running, playing, laughing. Stan is such a wonderful daddy and Landon and Connor just eat their time with him up. They love to mimic him...

And they have to equally do so...

Boys are great, they are fun, wild, entertaining, hilarious, loving, tenderhearted and always ready to GO. They also can have trouble relating to their moms...

The book suggests that the way boys identify with their own gender is to push their mom away. I do feel that at times, especially from Landon. It is not necessarily rude or mean, just a preference for his dad and it has lately seemed that he has more fun with Stan. (sad face)

I am learning how to be a boy mom, more and more daily. I tell you what, it will work on your patience as well as your "nervousness". I have had to let go of not letting them play with swords as Landon's one wish from the circus that we took him to for his birthday was a play sword... Stan eyed me and said, "Honey, he is a boy and there are worse things..." yes, Stan, thanks for the balance, but he is still my little "innocent" baby.

I have had to let go of worrying about dings in the floor, scratches on the walls, pen marks on my table, leaves pulled off my plants, broken little angel figurines, what the person at the store thinks of my little wild ones.

I have learned to listen carefully when Landon describes his drawings which often include some type of bomb (WHAT?) or dead person or something else disturbing...and make it a teachable moment.

I have learned that we will be talking about male body parts - and must do so with discretion and proper education and in appropriate settings...

I have learned that when any boy goes to the bathroom, it splatters.

I have learned how to find the best worms and pick them up (with gloves).

I have learned that boys don't like to write nearly as much as their girl peers!

I have learned that boys are really loud and need to be outside as much as possible.

I have learned that testosterone is very powerful. Wow. It works to my advantage when having a race to see who can clean up the most toys...

I have learned how very special a little boy's look at his mommy can be, how valuable a good relationship with my boys is- for their present and future way of relating to women.

What a big job, raising boys!! And, I might have another one! :) Bring it on, I am delighted to have the privilege of bringing up boys, I only pray that I might do so in a way that honors God and teaches them to do the same.

Now, on to reign in my boy who has been "going to the potty" for the last 20 minutes!!!

Our Valentine's Day

This year Stan and I celebrated our Valentine's Day on Friday February 10th. We went to Il Palio at the Sienna Hotel in Chapel Hill. We had a really nice time and actually got to talk for 2 solid hours...something unheard of in the house of two little boys...

I decided on Valentine's night, I would make a meal of my family's favorites. I made ravioli, roasted broccoli and bread and got yummy cupcakes with tons of icing for dessert. Stan got me the beautiful roses and I added the touch of the heart shaped straws and Valentine's plates.

This is Landon, waiting for Daddy to get home to eat our Valentine's meal. What a great smile...

This is Landon again....trying to kill time here as Daddy was running late...

Now both boys are at the table, Daddy still unable to get out of work, so we decided to go ahead and eat.

So, my Valentine's Day Dream of a delicious meal with my 3 boys followed by yummy cupcakes was not so. I realized all too quickly that even in the midst of laying those "best plans", life just "don't" work like that.

Stan got stuck at work until 7:00, the boys would not touch their lovingly prepared favorite meal, no cupcakes were had as a result and Stan and I ended up not even being able to spend any time alone together after having a rough evening of defiant young boys who did not want to cooperate, get in the bath and to bed in a "loving, Valentine's Day" fashion.

Life is a lot like this. And, despite my disappointment, I realize that even in times like these, God is with me, molding me and helping me to build my own character as well as my little boys. Though Valentine's Day didn't turn out like my imagination had planned, my real every day life is certainly very blessed and filled with more love than I could have ever hoped for. This Valentine's Day, I was reminded of the goodness of God in this life of unpredictability and disappointment. He never disappoints, always has our best in mind and blows even our most elaborate dreams out of the water with his plans that are so much better than ours.

What more could I hope for when I have precious faces like this to remind me of God's love every day...not just on one played up secular holiday.

Broken Wing

Yes, this is just one example of many of what it is like to have small breakable treasures in a home with two little boys.

As I looked at this angel's broken wing, I just felt sad. Landon said, "But mommy, you can fix it, you can use the super glue..." Can you tell we have done that before? It seems that the majority of the things that I still have up in my house that are breakable are little angel statues. I love the willow creek angels and have a small collection- many of which have been glued back together on one or many occasions.

This angel is a little different. It had a place of honor on my piano between pictures of my boys and up high so it could not be touched. Alas, it became the tragedy of a thrown ball, it's wing still behind the piano which is too heavy for me to move by myself.

It made me think a little about the broken wing I have in my life. I think about all of the wonderful blessings I have and there are many. I think about the idea of "Running with Plan B", an article that I suggest you read if you haven't. Most of us do end up going down plan b, c, d, e, and so on. I feel like as far as my family is concerned, I am one of the really blessed ones...I am still on Plan A with that area of my life. I have a wonderful loving husband and two precious little joys.

Where does Plan B and my broken wing come into play? Well, it is my inability to find a good fit for a job. I love my career. I feel called to my profession. I always have. I feel like it is a ministry, I mean, I have been able to pray with patients who have been on the verge of major crisis and loss. I feel like God has used me in my career more so than many other areas of my life...except in my role as a mom.

Why do I feel this is my "broken wing"? It is almost as though I cannot fly without it. It feels as though I am not complete. It feels just wrong not to practice this role God has called me to. But, in the past 6 years, I have encountered many immoral, unjust, illegal and utterly despicable things in the workplace. I have chosen not to stay in such situations and now find myself once again in a situation that is sucking the life out of me. It leads me to wonder, is this door closing in my life for now? Can I find a way to fly with this broken wing and allow God to "carry me under the shadow of his wings" that are far more secure and steady than my own? (Psalm 17:8)

And onto that little exception...reflection on how God uses me as a mom is humbling. There are so many moments that I almost have counted as insignificant. Landon asks me one last question at night, "Mommy, You know I have Jesus in my heart, right?" At first, I was almost wondering if I heard him correctly. I did. Landon has been talking about Jesus a lot lately and is very clear about what it means to have Jesus in his heart, he talks very openly about the crucifixion and resurrection and loves to read about Jesus in the bible. He also openly talks to his friends about God. This is not to my credit...however, God has used Stan and I to speak to Landon. That is such an incredible gift to know that God used us for our first child's salvation. Talk about God using you for good...

There are other moments, like when my two year old comes running up to me with the brightest eyes in the room, saying, "Mommy, look at me, I am big boy!" after accomplishing some newly discovered skill. My presence is very significant. My encouragement and acknowledgement of his accomplishment give him confidence and security, two of the most important building blocks a child can have.

There are the fights I break up and talk about feelings and why we don't hurt others. There are moments when I pull Landon aside to help him take notice of another child's feelings. There are times of discipline, many of these, which are so hard, but instrumental in building men of strong character.

So, is my wing really broken? Or is it being bound for a time so that I can rest in the shelter of God's wings and allow him to carry me, to show me how to live out his plan in my number one role as a mother, and as a wife. I don't know. But, I do know that I want God's best for me and appreciate your prayers.