Maternity Leave Reflections

Well, tomorrow is the day. I head back to work and reality will set in again. I am feeling fine about it...aside from knowing I will miss my one-one time with my sweet baby Connor on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

I am so thankful I have such a great place to work that is supportive of me being a mommy and working part time. What a blessing!

As I reflect back on the past 12 weeks, it is amazing the things I have learned and the ways I have grown as a person. Experiencing the miracle of life is such a life changing event. It has made me thankful for my loving husband. Though there are times when he is "such a man", he is truly one of the most loving, giving people I have ever known and he is a great dad. It has made me appreciate myself and who God created me to be and the need to nurture that person in order to be the best wife and mom that I can be. It has of course, made me just sit in amazement at the blessing of my two boys. I love being a mom and I love the fact that I have so many friends and loved ones who can support me in this journey.

This past week has actually been a tough one with Landon. We ended up having to basically strip his room naked (no toys, no books, no extra blankets, basically nothing fun) after some very bad behavior. What a difficult day to have to tell my baby that I was angry, and this is what angry looks like, all the while keeping my composure and not yelling.

Stan and I grew from that and are really trying to do our very best to teach him humility and gratefulness. Teaching character traits is a toughie.

Connor is not sleeping through the night but Stan is actually helping out a lot when I am willing to ask him. Our marriage has grown stronger for our realization of the need to communicate- and even more so with two kiddos!

Landon and Connor are starting to bond as Connor smiles when Landon walks in the room and Landon giggles...those events make all the long nights totally worthwhile.

I have had so much support in the past 12 weeks. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I thank you for the coffees, the phone calls, the letters, the cards, the flowers, the free babysitting, the plentiful hugs available whenever I need them, the love, the prayers, the food, the gifts, the just plain goodness from the people I love.

Wish me luck, tomorrow will be a long day away from my sweet baby boy.

Connor Update: 11 weeks old!

Wow, time sure does fly. Our sweet little Connor, who is not so little (weighed in yesterday at 15 pounds!), is 11 weeks old today. He is growing like a weed! He is smiling and laughing, has rolled over (at 7 weeks!), has started to enjoy high pitched words, esp. when daddy says "Poop"- great another boy thing- they sure do start early! He also loves to swing, loves faces, his mobile and his new bumbo seat that Santa brought. It is so sweet that he also has started to snuggle up with a snuggly very similar to Landon's "Raffie". It is a blue hippo. We have really had to struggle to keep Landon away from it! He has already confiscated the other 3 that Connor got as gifts!

He has a very sweet personality, often described as "a sweetheart". When he does cry, it is usually because he is hungry, in pain (unfortunately he has had an ear infection and likely is lactose intolerant for now), or he wants his mommy. This little fella is a mommy's boy for sure. I can't say that I mind it but I do hope things go well with our new babysitting situation. I am so sad to have to leave him 2 days a week, but I know he will be in excellent hands. We have two college aged girls coming to split the days. They are both girls from our youth group that Stan and I used to help lead. They are both great and the only babysitters we have used for Landon. We feel so blessed to have them coming into our home too- to keep some of the icky germs away from our sweet baby.

Landon has adapted quite well to his baby brother. I think it is so neat to see Landon patting Connor on the head and telling me that Connor is happy when Connor smiles at him. Connor already looks at his big brother in awe, something that I also treasure being able to witness.

Mommy is hanging in here. I am tired as exhaustion is setting in. Interrupted sleep for over 3-4 months now has started to take its toll. I am trying my best to get naps and also ask for help when I need it (a hard thing for me). I start work January 19th and am sad, but also so glad to be blessed to be able to work parttime and at a practice I love. I have some anxieties about juggling it all, but I know that the Lord provides and I am counting on that assurance.

God is teaching me a lot being the mother of two. I had no idea the number of things I would recognize about myself being a busy mom of two. I also have really been convicted about showing my gratitude and giving thanks daily for my two healthy baby boys. This is especially gripping in the middle of the night when Connor cries out to be fed and I am exhausted. The Lord brings to my mind, "Be grateful you have a healthy baby to wake you up." That I am. There is so much hurt all around that makes my heart so sad. I internalize my friends and loved ones hurts and am doing my best to make it my mantra to be thankful every single day.

Well, speaking of crying babies...

Happy 3rd Birthday Landon!

Birthday Breakfast!

Birthday Lunch with JD!

3 years ago today at 5:30 am Landon Dow Cole was born. What a special and exciting day it was to bring our firstborn into the world. Landon came out screaming- just what I had prayed for. He was bright eyed and really recognized both Stan and I's voices, looking at each of us at we talked to him for the first time. He loved to be swaddled as tight as we could get him!

Once Landon's colicky days were passed (Whew!), he was such a happy little fella. He loved his dragon and his Raffie. He also loved to read books like Good Night Moon. I had so much fun reading to him and playing with the dragon puppet, making him laugh when I made a "BOO" scary sound.

Landon was a great communicator. He learned signing early on and was really good at asking for "More"- esp. the hush puppies at the beach. He loved walking on the beach around 15 months and I remember picking him up after he had been running and swinging him around, both of us giggling with joy.

Landon was a very fun 1-2 year old. He was into animals, cars and trains. He was also a great walker but didn't really climb too much- I am not complaining. He began speaking words and ordering our cat Lilly around at an early age too. I have since had to monitor my own ordering around of Lilly! Landon and I used to listen to Alison Krauss and dance and dance- what wonderful bonding time for us.

Landon hit 2 years and 3 months and was ready to teach Stan and I a thing or two...BOY, what a BOY and WOW, what energy. Landon began asserting himself and really showing us that he has a strong will- something we have no doubt will serve him well. We have experimented with many forms of discipline, the most effective of which is time in his room by himself. He is now starting to tell us that we need to go to our rooms if we don't do things such as say "excuse me".

Landon was happy to talk about his new baby brother until he got here and initially Landon ordered Baby Connor to "Go back into mommy's tummy!" Since the initial dethroning, Landon's Cars have started to have brothers, Landon affectionately talks about Baby Connor and Landon told me just yesterday that he loved his baby brother. What a big boy!

I cannot believe Landon is 3! He is such a joy and has been so very affectionate of late. He is a great hug giver and spontaneously says he loves Stan and I and that he has fun with us. He is a great talker still and has started expanding his vocabulary to include such words as "actually" which he uses correctly. He has started to notice the difference between boys and girls, causing us to begin teaching about privacy. :) He told both grandmas over the break that they did not have a penis like he did... Yikes! At least he is getting it, but time to reign him in a bit. :)

Happy Birthday to my precious Landon. You make me smile! You melt my heart. You are my joy!

What a BIG boy!!!

Merry Christmas!

Pre Christmas Fun!

SNOW! Landon was so thrilled! This photo was taken at our playgroup today. We all went outside and started running around with the kids in the snow. It was so delightful. Just watching their eyes and sheer amazement really struck me. So often I look out the window and think, "Oh, snow" and continue about my assorted things I "have" to get done. Seeing the kids playing in the snow made me stop and really look at it. It is amazing. It is beautiful. It is so special to be able to be in the moment, to be in this space of time. Isn't it great the things kids can teach us?

Landon and I also did a "first" today and made a gingerbread house. It was so much fun as I realized I needed to read directions and entertain 2 two year olds (we invited JD to help) while keeping them from eating the candy. SO....with two bowls of goldfish crackers, two cups of juice and two "BIG" trucks, we managed...for all of 10 minutes. You can see the house turned out to be quite interesting. Since I didn't read the directions ahead of time, I didn't realize I needed to let it dry for 30 minutes prior to putting the candy on...needless to say, the roof needed lots of repositioning, let's say. :)

And, my sweet Connor. Here he is in the outfit Nanny got him, complete with a reindeer on his bottom. :) He is such a sweet heart. He is a mommy's boy and I cannot say that I mind. His smile melts my heart. He is really starting to "talk" to us and let us know when we get out of line. He had a 2 month check today and his first shots.... :(, but he handled it like a champ and has been cool as a cucumber since we got home. It is amazing how in 8 short weeks I cannot imagine our family without him.

Well, I must run, Landon has requested me for book time. Stacey - if you are reading this...I need all the prayers I can get, I am going in...for the bedtime rituals!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Few Christmas Shots...

These are my attempts to get photos of the boys in their Christmas pajamas. I think they are adorable. I am sure you will find it very hard to believe that Landon was a rascal most of last week and the coercing it took to get even these shots was, just plain painful.

I just saw a post of facebook that said that 3's are worse than 2's and I just cannot believe it. Landon has been a little pistol of late but I am certain it has to do with his whole world being recently turned upside-down. He is testing the waters, but we are working through it and I must say, he had a fantastic day today- listening, eating, playing well with others, entertaining himself and me. Today was one of those days that I love to post about. It is hard to take the testing, but when he looks at me and replies after I say, "I love you", "I wuv you too"- everything frustrating seems to disappear.

He is doing lots of talking and even joking these days. One of my favorite things he has been saying lately is "actually" and he even uses it correctly. It cracks me up.

We have been doing the "Elf on the Shelf" this year which I highly recommend. Landon has named our Elf "Jimmy" and is absolutely precious in the morning when he says, "Where Jimmy?" Jimmy is currently waiting to watch Landon on his way to school tomorrow morning. Jimmy is in Stan's car. I must admit, Stan and I are having a blast with this too.

Landon has also been realizing that certain animals and objects cannot talk or do things that humans do. For example: While watching the movie Cars, he says to me, "Cars not can talk! Silly Cars." When watching Clifford, he says, "Dogs not can dance! Silly Dogs!" He is a blast.

Here is is singing and dancing to Jingle Bells. Quite a little entertainer.

Stan and I actually got to go out twice! Once to my office party and once to his (thanks to my wonderful mother and sister in law!). We had a blast and really got a chance to catch up on the way to and from the parties, considering mine was an hour away and Stan's was 45 minutes. We both feel so blessed to have the jobs we do and work with the wonderful people we do.

Connor has been growing like a weed! He is tipping the scales at over 13 pounds, smiling, laughing and has even rolled over! He loves to cuddle with mommy, coo and talk after eating and stare at lights. :) He loves tummy time and I imagine he will be crawling at 6 months. After all, he has a big brother to keep up with! He is a pure delight. We are so in love with this little fella. How blessed we are to have two wonderful and healthy little boys. We are thoroughly enjoying our little family. Hope you all have a great night and enjoyed the update! I will not neglect my BLOG totally for facebook- I promise!

Landon is a little "Moo"

One of the greatest joys in motherhood is watching your children love your own parents and siblings.

It is especially neat to hear stories of how you responded to certain things as a child and how your own children often mirror those reactions. In this picture, Kay (Stan's mom) is reading Landon one of Anna's (Stan's sister) favorite books. It is called, Stand Back Said the Elephant, I think I am going to Sneeze. As you can see, Landon is sitting with a line of animals, all that Kay has collected - each of which has a certain part in the book. You better believe Landon grabs the animal when his part arrives and makes sure to act it out in full style.

The neat part about this picture and Landon's reaction to this book being much similar to his aunt "Moo" is that he is so much like her in so many ways. We have always heard stories about how she loved her friends- her many stuffed animals who all had certain names and all had to be named for bedtime. Landon is the same way. I think he has at least 6-7 little critters that have to go into bed with him at night, each with their name and place. He even has a "FROG cover" like Anna.

He is also bubbling with personality just like we hear Aunt Moo was. Little entertainers, these two. I do think Anna was a better eater than Landon has been though! :)

I love it. I love watching his face light up when he sees Nanny, Pappa, Mommom, Pop, Anna, Uncle B, Tahti, Uncle John and Uncle Marc. I love my family.

We'll see what this little fella is like! :)