Falling Behind

From the title of this post, you can imagine how this will go....I will update from the fall of 2012 in a series of pictures.  There have been so many celebrations, I am just getting around to blogging about them.  Hope you enjoy.

Landon and Connor's annual Halloween house.  This year, I used the candy as rewards for Connor using the potty.  Landon was also able to convince me that he should also get to choose candy when Connor went to the potty since he was "helping".  Landon, the negotiator...

Stan and I have settled in to life with 3 kids.  I just love this picture.

We celebrated Connor's 3rd Birthday a lot...this month.  This picture is from when the UPS man delivered his bike two weeks early (as I had ordered) and it was not in any brown packaging.   This kids were all outside playing when the beautiful Diego bike box arrived!!!  How do you tell a 3 year old they have to wait 2 weeks until their birthday to open such a prize...you don't.  We had an early birthday surprise!

We even let him ride it in the house...

Soccer...our first sport to try.  Landon had been begging and begging to play once Kindergarten started.  We caved and also really wanted Landon to have his own thing and not have to wait just because he had a new sibling.  So, his first practice was the week before Lindsay arrived...

He appeared to like it...

And actually seemed to have some talent...

But, this will be the last picture I have of him playing soccer as he has decided that he never wants to play again.  Refer to previous BLOG post for details.  A battle of the wills occurred and I won.  But, I will not make him play if he doesn't want to, he just had to finish what he started...FUN TIMES.

The boys have been able to fish several times with Nanny.

Lindsay even made her debut trip to Nanny's!

Lindsay has also been smiling, cooing and lighting up our lives...with her baby blues.

Landon and I have had some fun times doing his favorite thing...food crafts!

Connor really did turn three and we had a cupcake after lunch on his Birthday.

Then I took Anna and Connor to Build a Bear for a special treat!

Connor was very interested when she was sewing up the doggie after he kissed the doggie's heart and then placed it inside.

They both had a blast...and I think I see trouble ahead...

The night of his birthday, I let him choose the dinner...fish sticks, strawberries and carrots and we had our own little family celebration.  It was a blast!  I love that little face!

Next, it was time for our annual playgroup dress up Halloween party.  We also celebrated Connor's birthday!

Look at these adorable kiddos!

Connor, the charmer...

Connor, the ham...

Connor, the mama's boy!

Last, but not least, we had a family party to celebrate this milestone for Connor.  We also had a few close friends join us. Aunt Moo was in charge of the cake again and did a fabulous job! Connor loved it!

He got about a billion Diego gifts...

Dad and Karen had a chance to bond with Miss Lindsay!

And on to our annual trip to Ganyard Farm!

Our best family shot this year...sorry Lindsay...

Connor always lovingly visits his little pal, Cotton.

The boys loved the slide this year!!

Landon, king of the mountain!

Karen and her number one subject for all of her many photos!

The corn crib was the biggest hit of all!

Me and my dad with my girl..

Mommom and Pop with all of their grandchildren.

Our family pose with the pumpkins.

Landon and Uncle Marc pick a pumpkin!

Landon picked his own...

Zaiya picked his own...

And Connorbug picked a flower... Love him.

Real men carry pumpkins...

Our loot of pumpkins for the day!  Its amazing how handy a double stroller can be!

Next stop...my mom's surprise 60th birthday party.  My aunt Vivian got to hold Lindsay for the first time and was in love...

Next, my aunt Karen got a turn and Lindsay won her over as well.

But...my Uncle Fred...look at those two!  It was such a joy to share my little girl with my family.  What a blessing.

Landon had a project at school and had to make his costume ( I mean his parents had to make his costume...).  He had to pick an animal and research all about that animal.  It was actually really cool and I went to school with Landon to hear him speak.  He did a great job as a penguin and was super impressed that you can see penguin poop from outer space...  Yep, that was his take home message after researching all about penguins.  BOYS!

Lindsay celebrated her first Halloween!

Our precious little pumpkin...

The crew, all ready for trick or treating and our annual neighborhood parade.

Another family photo op!

Connor and his first time trick or treating. He was telling the people exactly what he did and did not want.  He also had to stop and look at every single decoration and leaf on the ground.  He learned the word, "Lolligag" that night.  :)

I love this picture.  Sophia is looking so precious, turning on that charm and my Landon is like, "Yeah...I'm the stuff..."  Oh my, what is to come with these two!

My Connor in his complete Diego costume for the only three seconds of the whole night. :)  Three year olds rock!  (Note sarcasm).

Last but certainly not least...Happy 2 Months to my sweet girl!  I cannot believe how big she is getting!  We have her 2 month check up tomorrow so I will post her stats...but, as my GI friends say, she is NOT "failing to thrive..."  She has got to be the happiest baby I have ever been around.  She is always smiling and chilling.  She only fusses if she needs to be burped, changed or if she is sleepy.  She sleeps like a champ and is about as content as they come.  I am taking every single opportunity to snuggle her.  She is such a joy.

Sorry that was so long and I promise to do better!

The Mama

As I look above at the picture my sister sweetly edited for me, I am reminded of the fact that I am the mama.  So long I wanted this and yearned for the opportunity to care for precious babies.  What gifts they all three are!  I cannot believe that I am here...

I am the mama when the baby is born, getting to hold her first, tears streaming down my face at the miracle, prayed over for so long, created within me.

I am the mama when the baby turns toddler and takes his first steps, into my arms, beaming with pride and a glimmer in his eye, seemingly, just for me.

I am the mama when the toddler turns waddler and begins shouting, "NO" or "Mine".  I am the mama who must exercise patience like never before, guiding this little being into the next stage...and the next.  I am this same waddlers mama when he looks up at me with big brown eyes, saying, "Mama, will you rock me?"

I am the mama when the waddler turns three...and exercises his new found ability to pee in the trash can in his room.  He is, afterall, potty training and mama is feeding the new baby...

I am the mama when the 3 year old turns 4, when he starts identifying more with his daddy, needing my hugs less and less often...saying even, "I love daddy more than you..."

I am the mama when the 4 year old turns 5 and enters Kindergarten.  I am his mama when I hear about him being bullied on the bus...I am his mama when he tells me instead of hitting back, he cries on his way to school... now I am mama bear...

I am on my way to discovering more and more about being a mama.  I have to figure out things like bullying and how to deal with this appropriately and so that the correct lesson is learned by all...I have to temper my own desire to buy things I want as not to model entitlement to my children...I have to exercise creativity like never before whether that be with crafts to keep kids occupied or coming up with the best parenting strategies in the heat of the moment- like when my 5 year old refused to play soccer last Friday- flat. out. refused. to go on the field.  We had had the talk about finishing well, after he told me he didn't like soccer the week before.  We talked about commitment, we talked about the fact that it cost money to be on the team and to have the ball, cleats and shin guards...But he dug his heels in and would not budge.  If you know Landon, you understand.  What am I to do in that moment?  I have to be thinking on my feet...with no REM sleep in the last 6 weeks...OK, think..."You have to stay here and watch your team.  No, we are not dragging your whole family of 5 home, who came to support you.  We are staying here...you can watch or play." FINE, I will sit and pout...and Oh, and those nice soccer pictures that are today...
you don't get one of those, mama.

I am the mama who gets up in the night, feeds the precious newborn and watches her thrive because of that.

I am the mama who looks up recipes to prepare new kid friendly meals.

I am also the mama who has learned to graciously accept meals and help from friends...

I am the mama who does the laundry, sorting, folding, organizing, placing in drawers...only to start all over again.

Oh, and dishes are the same deal.

I am the mama who also works outside the home????  What?

I am also that mama who has been blessed with a partner, the daddy.  A super duper daddy, if you will.  All of the above, he supports, provides and does if he is able...and encourages me along the way.

I am also the mama who has been chosen by God to parent these three precious lives. Humbling.

And, I am the mama whose baby is calling my name, as she has been all morning, leaving me without a shower and I must go pick up my sweet 5 year old from school and find out how the bus ride with the bully was this morning and where to go from here.  I am the mama who has only this limited time to think and process.  But, what a gift it is, to be the mama.

One Month

Wow!  It is so hard to believe that Lindsay Jane is already one month old!  I have decided that I will attempt to take monthly pictures this time around to show how much our girl is growing!  We went for her 1 month check up yesterday to find out that she is already 10 pounds!!  Looking at the above picture, I am sure you are not surprised!  Her weight is the 71%tile, height, 50th and head circumference the 70th.  She is growing too fast already, growing out of her newborn diapers.

The boys are adapting to having a new sibling.  I would say that Connor has had an easier time than Landon.  Landon is loving Kindergarten and soccer, but is kinda having a 5 year old response similar to his 3 year old response when Connor was born.  In other words, instead of tantruming and saying things like, "She needs to go back in your tummy" or "If you put her in the swing and leave her there, I won't have a baby sister anymore" (both of these things were said about Connor), he is mouthing off to Stan and I, saying things like, "I guess you don't want me anymore..." Booooo.  We are really trying to reassure him and provide the best positive environment we can, without allowing him to get away with saying things that are disrespectful.  It has been hard.

Connor has decided it is time to potty train...what?  Really, what timing!!  Today marked day number 5 of him going number 2 in the potty, so now he will receive his Diego Rescue pack... :)  He is doing great and I am always amazed at how much better kids do once you just give up and let them do the guiding...novel...I know. :)  Connor loves to hold Lindsay...sometimes too much.  But, I am really enjoying watching him love her up.  Connor is almost three, so he is having his defiant moments as well, presenting another challenge for us.  But, Stan and I are working together as a team and learning how to play zone... :)

Well, Lindsay Jane has finally decided to drift off, so I will go sleep as well.  Hope you enjoyed the update and the picture of our little love. :)

Five

How are we doing, you ask?  Here is an update with pictures and brief descriptions...I have but so much time.  :)  Things are going great and I even crazilly went to a conference today with my newborn in tow.  That is the nice things about working in Pediatrics...

Lindsay has already started smiling!  Look at this picture!  I love it and definitely will reserve this for the wedding video one day... :)

Most of the time, I am doing the picture taking, so I am in very few shots.  Mom took this one of me introducing Lindsay to my baby brother while he was in town from his Naval assignment in Spain.  This is what I have been up to...showing off my baby girl and loving spending time with all of her many admirers...Uncle John being a big one!

Now, this picture kinda sums it up...Connor holds Lindsay whenever he can get his hands on her.  He loves her and "protects her".  He is the lovingest (I know, not a real word) little thing ever.  Landon is like, "Yikes..., another one..."

Connor seriously holds her just about every day.  He is so proud.

Landon has kept up with his routine which has been the best thing for him.  He is loving Kindergarten and soccer.  This picture was taking after a fun day at his school with face painting!  He has really taken to reading and is really making us proud.

Connor is about to turn three.  I can hardly believe it.  He is some kind of all about Diego, notice the "rescue pack".  This shirt would be worn 24-7 if I let him...  He is having a little bit of a teary time at Daycare, missing his brother, but overall, he is doing great with the adjustment of having a new sibling.

And..our Lindsay Jane.  Here she is having her first bath...Not really a fan.

But she enjoyed the snuggles afterwards...

Here is her content face, very similar to Landon's as a newborn.

And here is my girl...I think she is happy to be part of the Cole clan.  We are in love.

Lindsay Jane Cole

It occurred to me today while having my quiet time, that some of you don't follow me on facebook...and I haven't updated my BLOG!  Lindsay Jane was born on September 11th, 2012 at 8:22am.  She weighed 7 pounds 9 ounces and was 20 inches long.  I was set to be induced on the 13th, but she came on her own, 8 days after her due date...little rascal!  I am busy trying to manage three and one is coming down the stairs crying now, while another is set to be at the door home from school any minute...so...enjoy the pictures!

Truth and Suffering

Looking at the above picture brings me joy.

I have to say, though, and this will be very honest and not peppy and effervescent...

This pregnancy has been very hard on me physically which has started taking its tole emotionally.

I was thinking about this today as I laid in my bed trying to recover from a night filled with contractions no closer than 6 minutes apart so so need to call the doctor...itching that can be likened to a dog with fleas without effective remedy, leading to insomnia.  I did watch Top Gun, at least.

I was thinking about suffering and the fact that I knew that my physical suffering would end.  And, it will.  It will end in new life!  It will end in a miracle!

That got me thinking about Jesus and the suffering that he did on the cross.  He was flogged.  He had nails hammered through his hands and ankles, a crown of thorns placed on his head and a spear piercing his side. What did his suffering result in?  New life. A miracle.

It brought me great comfort to know that Jesus knows my suffering and that that is how God intended it.  Jesus can relate to me!  I can relate to Jesus!

It seems silly and far fetched especially when I talk to other people who say, "Just get some rest, relax, you will be fine."  Actually...for this optimist and type A personality to say this, is hard...NO I WON'T, not until after I deliver this precious baby. I. AM. MISERABLE.  My itching is relentless. I have a sharp biting pain in my right upper quadrant (yes medical friends, my liver enzymes and bile salts have been checked and are normal), I am nauseous, still at 39 weeks and 6 days, I am having contractions that aren't real labor but they hurt. I can't go outside because it spurs on the itching to new levels of irritation.  I am trapped inside unless I want to suffer more.

But how can a pregnant woman, one who waited for so long for this pregnancy be miserable?  Trust me.  It is hard to admit, hard to write down, but in reality it brings me closer to Jesus and the cross.  So, it is worth it.  Not just for this life growing inside me, but for my intimate connection to Christ during this physical suffering.

I think about my friend who has chronic pain.   She knows no promise that her pain will end...but then does she?  She will one day be cured of her pain, even if it is when she meets Jesus, but why can't she find relief on earth?  Jesus knows and he can relate to her.  I also think about dear friends at church who lost their 16 year old daughter to cancer.  Where is their joy?  Where is their healing?  We know with our heads that it is in the cross and they know she is healed in heaven...but our hearts say, "Why not here on earth"?  Jesus knows and he suffers with them.  I also think about my friend with an empty womb, begging to suffer like me...for the gift new life will bring.  Will she be able to suffer?  Will her prayers be answered?  Jesus knows and he suffers with her. That is the answer. Jesus knows and he suffers with us.  He knows suffering, better than we do.

I guess Jesus is really using this time to speak to me on many levels.  I am so grateful to the chance to be used by him in communicating my heart.  I also trust him and read this excerpt from my devotional which hit home today.

"You keep your plans tentative, knowing that my plans are far superior"

Yes, Lord.  I hear you.  I trust you.