The Mama

As I look above at the picture my sister sweetly edited for me, I am reminded of the fact that I am the mama.  So long I wanted this and yearned for the opportunity to care for precious babies.  What gifts they all three are!  I cannot believe that I am here...

I am the mama when the baby is born, getting to hold her first, tears streaming down my face at the miracle, prayed over for so long, created within me.

I am the mama when the baby turns toddler and takes his first steps, into my arms, beaming with pride and a glimmer in his eye, seemingly, just for me.

I am the mama when the toddler turns waddler and begins shouting, "NO" or "Mine".  I am the mama who must exercise patience like never before, guiding this little being into the next stage...and the next.  I am this same waddlers mama when he looks up at me with big brown eyes, saying, "Mama, will you rock me?"

I am the mama when the waddler turns three...and exercises his new found ability to pee in the trash can in his room.  He is, afterall, potty training and mama is feeding the new baby...

I am the mama when the 3 year old turns 4, when he starts identifying more with his daddy, needing my hugs less and less often...saying even, "I love daddy more than you..."

I am the mama when the 4 year old turns 5 and enters Kindergarten.  I am his mama when I hear about him being bullied on the bus...I am his mama when he tells me instead of hitting back, he cries on his way to school... now I am mama bear...

I am on my way to discovering more and more about being a mama.  I have to figure out things like bullying and how to deal with this appropriately and so that the correct lesson is learned by all...I have to temper my own desire to buy things I want as not to model entitlement to my children...I have to exercise creativity like never before whether that be with crafts to keep kids occupied or coming up with the best parenting strategies in the heat of the moment- like when my 5 year old refused to play soccer last Friday- flat. out. refused. to go on the field.  We had had the talk about finishing well, after he told me he didn't like soccer the week before.  We talked about commitment, we talked about the fact that it cost money to be on the team and to have the ball, cleats and shin guards...But he dug his heels in and would not budge.  If you know Landon, you understand.  What am I to do in that moment?  I have to be thinking on my feet...with no REM sleep in the last 6 weeks...OK, think..."You have to stay here and watch your team.  No, we are not dragging your whole family of 5 home, who came to support you.  We are staying here...you can watch or play." FINE, I will sit and pout...and Oh, and those nice soccer pictures that are today...
you don't get one of those, mama.

I am the mama who gets up in the night, feeds the precious newborn and watches her thrive because of that.

I am the mama who looks up recipes to prepare new kid friendly meals.

I am also the mama who has learned to graciously accept meals and help from friends...

I am the mama who does the laundry, sorting, folding, organizing, placing in drawers...only to start all over again.

Oh, and dishes are the same deal.

I am the mama who also works outside the home????  What?

I am also that mama who has been blessed with a partner, the daddy.  A super duper daddy, if you will.  All of the above, he supports, provides and does if he is able...and encourages me along the way.

I am also the mama who has been chosen by God to parent these three precious lives. Humbling.

And, I am the mama whose baby is calling my name, as she has been all morning, leaving me without a shower and I must go pick up my sweet 5 year old from school and find out how the bus ride with the bully was this morning and where to go from here.  I am the mama who has only this limited time to think and process.  But, what a gift it is, to be the mama.