My Messes

Boy it has been a week at the Cole household! We have had a few ups and downs in the adult world that we are trying to keep from our little bundles of joy. Stress of being grown ups really can filter into our children's lives and Stan and I try very hard to keep the adult stress to ourselves. Some times are easier than others.

This week we were able to get some relief from our stress by going on a date night! Stan and I and Janise and Derek are trading off keeping each other's children so that one night a month we can have a date night! What a gift to have such special friends who are willing to share childcare with us AND promote growth in our marriage- Thanks be to God!!

On our date night, we went to eat SUSHI!! Yes, SUSHI!! I never thought I would see the day that Stan Cole ate SUSHI! We had really nice time with some of his buddies from work, then went and had coffee, just the two of us and really got a chance to talk. It was what I needed to come down from a really stressful week at work. Thank you Stan!

Another mess of the week was that I got the stomach bug that has been going around. YUCK! I haven't thrown up like that since I was pregnant and didn't mind quite so much since I knew it was for a special cause. This time it was the PITS! But, Stan rallied, kept the boys occupied and I got caught up on cleaning out my inbox- to the tune of about 4,000 emails! Only 3,000 to go which is just embarrassing. But, I have been dealing with raising two little boys, so oh well.

Now on to my little messes of joy...

Some might call me crazy...finger painting in the house with a 4 year old???

And a 1 year old??? Who by the way, already has it in his mouth!!

Landon showing off his skills.

Connor getting the hang of it!

"All done Mommy, and I loved it!!"

Landon was such a big helper to show Connor how to do it. Landon was making a picture for everyone. He didn't want to stop!!

On to bath time we went and the boys really enjoyed laughing and playing together in the water that turned colors because of all the paint. What a joy! What freedom to just let my kids finger paint in the house without becoming a nervous wreck. I had the bathroom all ready, had Connor strapped in and I was ready for anything! I think I am getting a handle on messes.

Another mess of the week was Connor's first taste of a chocolate covered doughnut, a first that our friend Derek was appalled at! He couldn't believe Connor had to wait 15 whole months!! Here Connor is taking his first big bite and really getting a good taste...

"Oh, now this is goooooood!"

"I can't believe how good this is, I love it!!"

So, after a week of messes, I think I have some to a place where I am OK with messes, especially when the messes I get to come home to every night when I am away look like this!!

God really spoke to me in a devotional time today about being present with me always. It was especially awesome in the wake of an emotional week. I am constantly amazed at how God answers prayers. Today he did so directly, leading to me scripture that really spoke to my heart. God did promise that this life would be hard, and it is, but he goes through all of my messes with me. What a gift.

Saying "No" to Good Things

January sure is a cold and dark month. I have been feeling its sting this year. As I pondered this, I realized that there is likely some associated grief with the 6 month anniversary of losing LD. It is also winter, which is notorious for its negative play on one's mood.

Grief is a strange thing, ever changing and surprising when it catches up to you. I can remember saying to Stan that our lives would never be the same after losing his dad and knowing that was true...but I didn't exactly know what that would look like.

God's hand in this season of our life is unmistakable, yet, I find it hard to hear His voice when I am clouding my mind with my own thoughts and worries. Lord, let me live into your truths, your promises and your comfort.

Along with the above, my kids are also changing and challenging me in new ways daily. Landon is now 4 and has truly started to really grow up in many ways. He has also really started back talking which has been another parenting curve ball for Stan and I. We are getting a handle on it, but it is sure a hard way to start a day with your precious son.

Connor is totally a toddler now. I cannot believe it. He is throwing temper tantrums and really asserting his independence. I am grateful for these milestones, totally normal developmentally. But, boy are they a change from my sweet baby boy. It is easier with Connor, for many reasons- to just let him get his tantrum out, move on and get him distracted. There is a lot to be said for experience as a parent.

I am constantly thinking and rethinking my decision to work. I truly feel it is a calling in my life which I thoroughly enjoy. I also see God working in my work on a very regular basis. I love what I do and I am so grateful to be able to work part time. I love my colleagues. I love my patients. It is just a really hard balance at times. This is one of those times.

I have had a hard time scheduling a Bible study small group for me. It seems it has just fallen through for a variety of reasons. I really do have a peace that this is where God wants me and that is without a small group right now. It is a hard thing to accept, but I am focusing on my calling to the leadership of our church and Stan's calling to a very important Bible study in his life, BSF. It is so hard to say no to good things. But, in saying no to good things, I am able to be home with my family at night.

I have been blessed by some recent nighttime memories that have affirmed by decision to say no to good things. The better thing is my sweet boys and husband. Time spent with them is of utmost priority to me. I want to be present for my family. I want to take the time to read Bible stories to my kids. I want to watch football as a family and eat nacho dip for dinner. I want to be present to watch Connor eat his first ice cream cone. I want to have the pleasure of watching my boys play together in the bathtub after dinner. I want to treasure this time and that is what I am doing.

Landon enjoying a nighttime bath.

Connor also enjoying a nighttime bath.

Landon and Connor enjoying one another.

Connor saying, "Cheese" after eating an entire chocolate ice cream cone following nacho dip for dinner in the bonus room while watching the NFL playoffs!

Landon somehow giving me the "Peace" sign- I think very fitting.

Here's to enjoying the time I have gained with my boys, by saying no to good things.

Retreat

Stan and I had the opportunity to get away this past weekend with Mike and Allison. What a blessing this weekend was! The has become our annual weekend (sans kiddos) that we go to Massenutten Resort in Northern Virginia. We have even become familiar with some of the local shopping and restaurants and feel quite at home there. My parents have a time share that they are unable to squeeze into their schedule so we are the very grateful recipients!!

Stan and I had lots of time to talk, relax, do our own thing and spend quality couple time together. We enjoyed quiet conversation where we were able to finish sentences and really, I think this weekend was like a second honeymoon for us. What a wonderful gift I have in Stan. He and I had such a wonderful time of connection esp. after having adjusted to life with two children. We are certainly blessed.

Allison and I had a great time shopping, talking and catching up on girlie movies. Even though we only live 2.5 hours apart, time spent in quantity is not so often with 3 kids between the two of us! It was refreshing, rejuvenating and just plain good for my soul to be able to spend such wonderful quality time with such a dear sweet sister as Allison is to me. I am certainly blessed.

Mike and Stan did their guy thing. Here they are pictured on the computer, reading a boy magazine with Sports Center on in the background wearing matching shirts that say, "Proud to be Awesome". What can I say, I think they had a great time too! Who would have ever imagined that Allison and I would marry men who got along so famously, even to dress as twins...

These two munchkins stayed with Mommom for three nights!!! What a trooper my mom was to come and take care of them! I have to hand it to her, she is a wonderful grandmother and it is so evident how very much she loves her grandbabies by the way she plays, reads, gets down on their level and just loves on them. Nanny rescued her on Monday morning and kept them all day so that we could enjoy the three day weekend. Nanny was, as always, a fantastic playmate for the boys and I think she thoroughly enjoyed herself too. Thank goodness for grandmothers who love our babies!!

What a gift a strong marriage is. Stan and I had a chance to really put time and energy into building our relationship and making it stronger. It is such an awesome blessing that we also have such dear friends who also thrive in a marriage that is built on the strength of the Lord. Marriage is not easy, but when time and care, wrapped with prayer, are devoted to it, it can be the strongest bond- just as God created. Here is to marriage, here is to time well spent investing in my marriage, and here is to my loving husband...Thanks be to God!

Happy 4th Birthday, Landon!

Doesn't this just say it all? Landon is 4 years old. I can hardly believe it. He has grown so much in the past 4 years, it is unbelievable. He is spunky and fun, spirited and sensitive, full throttle boy, hilarious, great at making friends, loves to do crafts and play cars, trains, trucks, super heroes...like I said, full throttle BOY! He is precious to Stan and I, always keeps us on our toes and is a delight. I could not imagine my life without him in it and I am so thankful for this precious life God has placed in my hands for this time. Happy Birthday to my sweet sweet boy.

Here he is blowing out his candles. We had 4 mini cupcakes on his real birthday, January 4th. Stan and I let him open his gifts from us and "Baby Connor". He was quite pleased that his brother got him all his favorite "racing track cars", as he calls them.

He loved the cupcakes...glad we opted for the mini cupcakes since it was so close to bedtime!

Connor also loved the cupcakes and the ice cream!

Here is Landon on his new scooter Stan and I got him. He loved it and was riding it all over the house, saying he was going to work. There is a little bag in the front where he said he needed to put his computer (his V-Reader) that Stan and I also gave him. It was hilarious, hearing him talk about going to work and parking in the garage. I am hoping this will be a fun toy for the spring. Don't worry, we have a Cars helmet to match. :)

Here is such a sweet photo of my boy. I took cupcakes to his school for his birthday and then took him to a movie (Yogi Bear) and we went to get hot chocolate. We sat by the fountain and had a great time talking. I love the time I spend with him.

Then came the 4th birthday party! Anna made this cake, which was SUCH a huge hit! Landon loved it! Not only was it adorable, it was delicious! Many thanks Aunt Moo!

Here are Landon, Anna and I with her fantastic cake!

Time to blow out the candles!

Always trying to get a family photo, here we are together with everyone but the birthday boy smiling! :)

Landon was quite pleased to have all of his favorite little girls at his party. I am telling you, he is quite the ladies' man. Here he is with Caroline, Sophia and Emma, the three little girls he talks the most about. Look at him hamming it up! What am I going to do with him?

Here Landon is with Caroline. Caroline lives is Charlotte so he doesn't get to see her as much as he would like, but boy do they make up for lost time when they are together! They are totally enamored with each other! Allison and Caroline made a special trip down for Friday and Saturday and I think Landon would have been completely content with that being his birthday present! Thanks Allison and Caroline- you made Landon's birthday! What a true gift you both are to our family!

Emma and Heather (Ryan and Reid) came from Greensboro! Thanks so much for making the trip! Landon was delighted to have his little beach buddy at his party. He kept telling me that his friend, Emma was coming and wanted to pray for her each night leading up to his party. I, of course, was so pleased to see my Heather too. :) What a treasure I have in you!

Tom made a special trip to be at Landon's party with Thomas. Thomas, Landon and Caroline ran laps around the museum! It was such a treat to have them there, esp. as my dear Heather, Thomas's mom, has been healing after surgery. Please keep her in your prayers.

Esperanza and Lara also came! Lara went to graduate school with me and has become such a dear friend. Esperanza and Landon always have such a great time together. Landon sure is one loved little boy! Thanks so much for being there with us to celebrate!

Emmie really enjoyed the cake!!

Kelly, Kevin and sweet Olivia came to stay with us for the weekend. What a blessing these two are. We could totally adopt them into our family and have them live with us. Kelly has been one of my best friends since Nursing school, another kindred spirit who has been through the ups and downs of life, always by my side. Thanks guys, for making the trip from South Carolina!! What a true blessing for us!

Of course, Janise was there...what a great special friend. We just love you to pieces! And of course those girls of yours! Ryan, Landon's buddy is also pictured here with Emmie. He is such a sweet little friend as well and we were so thankful to have he and his family with us to celebrate!

Baylie, adorned in princess slippers despite the snow falling from the sky, also made with with her mom and dad, Steve and Stacey. I just LOVE this picture and I love the fact that it screams, "I am 3 and I will wear what a want to!" I love that Stacey totally let her, likely to avoid a battle- Stacey is in my mother's playgroup and a wonderful friend and support to me in this journey of motherhood!

And where was my Connor-bear? Well, you guessed it...Mommom had his half of the time...

And Nanny, the other half. What great grandmothers he has! Thanks to you both for letting me spend the time with Landon as you loved up on Connor bug.

There were many more wonderful people who came...neighbors, family, friends. We thank each one of you for making it a special day for our sweet Landon!

A Few Christmas Memories

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas 2010. We did! We spent a lot of time with Stan's family and mine. We spent Christmas Eve through the Monday after Christmas with Kay, Anna and Brandon. We spent New Years weekend with my mom, dad, Karen, Marc, Zaiya, John, Eamon and Rebecca.

Landon got his Woody Doll, a kitchen and a Buzz Lightyear watch. Connor got a large stuffed dog, a miniature basketball goal and a play remote control. There were many other gifts along the way. Truly the greatest gift was being able to spend time with our family. I am so behind on my BLOG, I cannot truly recap the whole holiday. Just know it was very special.

Here are a few special moments...

Landon and Woody.

Landon checking out and thoroughly enjoying the train track and village that Nanny set up for him in her basement.

Stan dancing with Landon and Connor.

Our whole Cole side of the family at Teresa's for Christmas dinner.

Rebecca, Connor and I.

Marc, John, Eamon and Stan lifting Zaiya higher and higher...he loved every minute of it! Kinda reminded me of the Lion king. :)

Marc and Stan cooking in the kitchen for us. Marc cooked his famous black rice with shrimp and pork. Stan peeled all the shrimp and Marc put his Haitian cooking expertise to work. What wonderful men!! What a wonderful meal!

White Christmas and Connor's first chance to walk in the snow. Not. A. Fan.

Landon, Stan and I. We went sledding with Moo-moo and B while Connor slept for 3 hours! We had a blast on the farm, enjoying the snow and the family time. Landon was in heaven!

There will be more pictures to come when I get them from other people's cameras. We had a wonderful holiday and hope you did too!

We are now in birthday mode, so I had to go ahead and get this post up to make room for Landon's birthday celebration!! He turned 4 on Tuesday and has a big birthday party bash on Saturday at the museum. I cannot believe my baby is 4. WOW.

More to come!