Our 4th

This year my whole family got together for the fourth to celebrate my brother, who is leaving for Rota, Spain in 1 week for an assignment with the Navy. We are so proud of him. It is so hard to believe he is my little buddy...all grown up.

The boys and I took advantage of our time and stopped to see Pa Cole on the way to the cabin. I really felt like it made his day. He is just a breath of fresh air for me. His perspective is really inspiring to me and he always treats me as if I truly were his granddaughter. It was particularly important to see Pa Cole as the one year anniversary of losing LD is this month. I really want my boys to know as much about their Pappa as they possibly can and what better way than through their dad and great-grandfather. Landon was a trooper, even smiling for a picture.

Connor was a wiggly 20 month old...as you can see, Pa Cole didn't mind. He did raise two Cole boys himself!!

The boys really bonded with John from the start. I am so proud of my brother and the effort he has made to have a strong relationship with my boys even if he hasn't gotten to see them much.

I got a chance to bond with my little Zaiya. I just love this little face. He is so precious and we had a great time giggling, playing and dancing.

Mom and dad wanted to go down to the lake...Connor was not digging it.

Landon did great, though! He went out with Pop and was quite a big boy!

Connor did do a little better once he saw Landon. Anything Landon does, seems to be ok with Connor. What a sweet bond Connor and Landon already have.

Landon really wanted to fish with Uncle John. John was so patient. He let Landon watch and even took him off by himself where it was more quiet and they had a better chance of catching a fish. Still no luck, but what a sweet gesture. Landon was thrilled.

Karen and Zaiya in the lake. This girl is one fantastic Tahti and an even better mommy. I am SO proud of her!

And...Nanny came!! Landon was so excited to report that all of his grandparents were at the cabin. He is so proud of each one. Kay came to see the boys and also support my brother. We actually had a chance to sit and talk while the boys were occupied. It was a nice chance to catch up and it meant so much to me that she would come and spend time with me and the boys and my family. Stan was on a camping trip with all the Cole men, so he wasn't even there! I sure hope my future daughter and laws and I can be as close as Kay and I are.

Here she is, stamping water in the bottom of a cardboard box with the boys. She is such a great Nanny...

Landon was quite the mischievous one...he was throwing water balloons at Pop, squirting me and Tahti with the water gun and even sneaked up on Marc, who was relaxing and got him GOOD!

Look at that face! VICTORY!

Connor was loving as usual and wanted to hold Zaiya's hand. Seeing these two grow up together is just so so sweet.

One of the only pictures of the three boys...but I love it.

Here's another. Of course, I am not sure it really counts because Zaiya and Connor are strapped in!

And...there were bugs. My oh my, boys and their bugs. If you look really close to Landon just to his left, you will see a green bug. It was a Cicada, and they were in full force in the mountains!

I really tried to get a picture of the boys holding their American Flags for the fourth, but they are just too busy. Here is my sweet Connor bug and the best true 4th picture I got. Hope you enjoy.

So, despite no air conditioning (much to my dad's chagrin) we had a wonderful weekend. It is such a joy to watch my parents really love on my boys. They are wonderful with them and take the time to really get to know their personalities and the things that really make each one of them unique. We really missed Stan, but he was where he needed to be. He was making memories and also sharing memories of his dad with all the Cole boys. Who knows, next year, Landon may join them. I cannot believe he is going on 5. Where, oh where, does the time go?

BOYS...WOW!

It's been a longer time between updates on my BLOG, my space to reflect. I am not gonna lie...these boys are wearing me out. The intensity of raising two little testosterone driven machines has etched up several notches in the past month or so. My sweet Connor pictures above in one of my very favorite pictures of him, has become a 2 year old. At 20 months, I know I should have been prepared, but Landon really didn't start tantruming (and when he started, boy did he start) until he was about 27 months- funny how that is something you don't forget. This change is so crazy, it is like a light switch. One day, sweet baby, next day, tantruming toddler screaming NO in your face. :(

So, God is once again pruning ME. I cannot believe how much I thought I had it together, how much patience I embodied...before children. God is showing me minute by minute that I have to completely rely and depend upon him, especially since these two precious boys are depending on me. God help me to raise these boys with integrity!! It is hard work!!

Well, there it is, in the raw...the reason I haven't updated sooner is because I have been keeping Connor from hurting himself or his brother, breaking up fights, sweeping the floor at least 10 times a day, washing many loads of laundry as the weather proves unbearably hot here in NC, teaching VBS in the midst, trying to keep my plants alive, trying to complete my online driving course which is totally driving me nuts, celebrating fathers Day and Stan's birthday in the same week and have less and less time to myself as Landon no longer naps...oh yeah, and I am still working! :) Even now I am doing the "unthinkable" as I allow my boys to watch one more episode of Curious George while I spend some time reflecting and typing...well, here is Connor climbing on top of me, whining and trying to squeeze me out of my chair...Thank you God for these precious lives, help me to honor you in all of my actions and especially all of my thoughts!

Here are a few highlights from our past few weeks...

My boys love to play with Sophia and Emelia. Here the kids (in 2 minutes flat) completely destroyed Janise's living room, turning it into a mardi gras party complete with beads that decorated not only the kids, but the animals too!

Connor got a chance to push around the baby carriage. He was very intent. I love all of his beads!

And, you can't keep boys away from worms for too long. Just as he can sit and play with beads and dolls, he can switch and pick up worms with the best of them. Here he was using the magnifying glass I bought him. He loves worms and calls them "SNNNNNAKE".

Landon was, of course, thrilled.

Here are the boys checking out their creatures.

Connor started his first day of daycare....and might I add, has done exceptionally well! We are so proud of our sweet little guy. He is melting hearts, left and right.

This one melts my heart...complete with a baby face and Lightning McQueen book bag just like his big brother.

We have had movie night...complete with popcorn for Connor for the first time. The boys had a blast watching Veggie Tales.

Connor and I have ridden the train at the museum, meeting up with some of our favorite museum buddies. We had a great time dancing, riding the train, banging on pots, playing with dump trucks and catching up with Erica and Jameson.

And, last...this is really how Connor should be walking around everywhere. He really wanted to wear his brother's helmet while checking out the ants on the pavement. Glad he was protecting himself from those ginormous creatures!!

Well, gotta run, Connor is screaming in my ear! Love to all.

Life's a Beach

"Life is a Beach": I always thought this was a nice saying and was reflecting on how true it is that life is "like a beach", then I looked it up on google...wow. I decided I would still keep the title and come up with my own interpretation. I see it as a positive saying, not what google says...I won't write it here, you can google it if you are curious. But let's just say, beach is not the word originally in the phrase.

We did have a great trip to the beach this year and though there weren't many quiet moments to myself, I did have a few and was able to experience the spiritual renewal for my soul the sand meeting the sea meeting the sky brings to me. Above, I was able to sit and share this life, this beach, with the two most precious gifts God has given to me.

At this hour (around 5:00), one can view it from afar and wonder how it all works, watching the waves crash roughly on the shore, the beachy sand hidden in the high tide. So often, I am crazy at this hour of the day, trying to prepare dinner/control hungry kids/answer the phone/answer the door/anxiously await Stan's homecoming. I thought of this parallel. Though I felt much more relaxed while watching the waves, I imagined myself as the shore, being flooded with wave after wave- but doesn't it refine me? Doesn't that pounding make for a smooth beach in the morning?

Life's beach in full swing here. Landon loves the beach, he loves life. He shovels it up and dives in. He in in the moment, can't you tell?

Connor, cup in hand, mommy in sight, sheer joy on his face- as he sits shaded from the sun, shaded from the heat, the danger of our broken ozone. What shelter we provide as parents has no comparison to the shelter Jesus brings upon our lives. Shouldn't I at least have that look of JOY on my face at what the Father has done for me?

Pure innocence is alive at the beach. Here, Connor is basically ducking his face as close to the water as he can get to see the fish that Stan caught. I love how everything else faded away and full focus was on such a tiny creation - a minnow. How delightful it would be if I treasured the small stuff more.

More enjoyment of this little prize...

Look at that face. What a happy little fella. All because of a minnow that his daddy caught for him. How many toys does he have? What do they matter? The joy that time spent with his brother, mommy and daddy far exceeds any amount of temporary fun a material item can bring. How about that thought in adult terms? Do I really need one more cute dress?

Dancing with Nanny. Nanny often reminds us of the need to dance, to laugh, to take long baths and walks. Paying attention to the generations ahead of us and their wisdom can also set our priorities in check. The beach often brings families together, enabling them to spend that quality time in conversation and reflection.

Priceless? I'd say so. Obviously, this part of the beach, is just FUN.

And even more fun with Nanny!

So excited we got this family picture. It is so tough getting both boys to look at the camera! It is also so tough to get someone patient enough to take about a billion pictures to get one decent one!!

So, back to my beach parallel... Connor almost fell asleep in Stan's arms walking along the beach. It was the sweetest thing. I imagine the security he was feeling, being in his daddy's arms, high above the vast water as he listened to the crashing waves soothe him to sleep. How often have I felt like I just wanted to cuddle up in my dad's arms, have him protect me from the waves of the world. How awesome we have a Heavenly Father who is always ready to welcome us with open and loving arms.

What a treat, we got to see Kelly and Olivia twice! They are living in Myrtle Beach now and packed up the car after Kelly worked night shift to come and see us. Running through the water, splashing with our little munchkins, I can really say it was one of the best times of my life. Kelly and I have been friends for years, about 13!! We have been through so much together, it makes splashing through the waves and sand even sweeter.

Landon was quite the eater this trip! I think all of the sand and water play wore him out. He had more of an appetite that I ever remember, which is such a great thing to write as he has never really been interested in food!

Landon made a friend, Alexis, while we were at the beach. He has always been my social bug and seems to make a friend no matter where we go. Seeing these two frolic in the ocean and on the beach was such a joy. This picture reminds me of the simple fun in every day life, that is waiting for us to take notice of and enjoy.

Daddy and Landon pause for a quick picture.

Me and Kel enjoying our ice cream cones we walked all the way to the pier for...with three kids who ALL wanted to be carried back...

This is one of my very favorite pictures of the week. I think the beach wore out all three of my boys. Stan is an amazing dad. Seeing this picture really makes me thing a lot about LD. I imagine there were many times when Stan was just as young as our boys are and LD was holding Stan in the same way. The beach is a place where memories are made and Stan and LD made many together here at this very beach.

Connor got a close up look at some seagulls. Our neighbors started feeding them and Connor was ecstatic. I love the look of excitement in his eyes and I esp. loved seeing his face light up as he chased the seagulls, fully believing that he could catch them. Another great reminder to me of the beauty that is available if I would just stop and look around.

A treasured time, Landon and I got away by ourselves and enjoyed ice cream on the beach one afternoon. There are not as many mommy and Landon one on one times as their used to be and oh, how I love the chance to get away with him and really delight in his sweet personality. Landon actually told me that this was his favorite memory from the beach (of course that changes depending on who he is talking to...).

Another family shot.

Me and my hubby.

As I took this picture, I thought about the short glimpse of time Connor will be so little. Time goes by so very fast and taking time to reflect on that helps me to live in moments life this. I treasure the time I am spending getting to know my boys right where they are, looking at them in amazement each time they discover something new and exciting, making imprints on my memory every day.

Time spent with family, those God has placed around us for a reason. The beach brought our family together. This was our first trip without LD, our first picture at this location without LD. I did think a lot about LD and about the memories we made as a family at this beach. Stan and I got engaged on one of our family beach trips to Holden and there LD was, welcoming us home, just beaming.

As I look out over the ocean, I often do think about those I have lost over the years. I don't know why, but there is something about the endlessness of the water, the soothing sound of the waves, the soft melting horizon that brings me to a place of reflection. There is a certain connection I feel with loved ones I have lost as I think being on the beach makes me feel a little closer to heaven.

Could there be a sweeter picture?

Well...maybe...

Mommy's little hip buddy...look at that face. I am so in love. :)

Connor poses for a picture, I just couldn't get that big beautiful grin!

But, Landon obliged. :)

Memories Landon will never forget.

Or Connor. :)

Stan and Landon sat on the deck for one last goodbye Saturday morning. We'll be back, Holden Beach. Thanks for the wonderful time 2011.