Turning My Chair Around

First I will share some of my recent favorite pictures from the past week.  Then I will share my thoughts so my title makes sense...

Landon's first day out of school, I kept him home with Lindsay Jane and I.  I just love this picture.  The two of them really had a great time together and Landon was actually so good with her and to her.  I like thinking about the fact that these two are the same age difference as Stan and Anna and the special bond they share.  It is really sweet to watch and think about Stan and Anna growing up. :)

This is my favorite picture from Father's Day.  Stan got a leaf blower...his request and the boys were just thrilled with it, esp. because Stan took them outside with him and let them try it out.  Notice too, that Landon is standing on his tippie toes as he realizes how quickly his little brother is reaching his height...and will undoubtedly surpass him all too soon...

The pool finally opened and we had our inaugural day with out pool buddies, the Smiths!!  This picture makes me smile as I remember the sweet babies chowing down on the watermelon!  They could not stop eating it!!

Kay also got to come and offered to take a picture of us with the kids.  So often, moms don't get to be in the picture, so this was a nice treat too.

Landon and Sophia are 7.  This day at the pool, they were acting like they were 13.  They were sunning beside the pool "too cool" for school.  I tell you, these two are two peas in a pod...watch out world.  Gotta love their poses too.  All boy and all girl...

Little darling Emelia Helen and Lindsay Jane.  I tell you, I would borrow this little girl any day.  She takes care of Lindsay Jane as if she were her own little baby!  Lindsay Jane kept saying "Meme" for "Emmie" and would fuss when she would walk away.  :)

Look at that sweet boy!  I love this picture because it makes me think of how pleased Janise and Derek were to add this little BOY to their family.  He is just a delight and I love to see Janise so happy.  :)

This guy.  He is a joy.  While he is my emotional one who I really have to watch how I speak to...his emotional side also makes him so very endearing.  He is sensitive and kind, as loving as anything, loves to concentrate and learn and is full of imagination and charm.  He is basically, my dad, in little boy form.  :)

My, oh my, how our play group has grown.  This is only a portion of our playgroup (11 of the soon to be 19 kids total) plus our three neighbor kiddos.  We had water play today and it was such a joy to watch the kids romp around the yard, enjoying the water and sunshine of the summer.  What a blessing!

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Now on to my title.  I am reading yet another book...I will take any help I can get in insights and advice from other moms who have been there and folks more wise than I who have been serving the Lord a lot longer than I have.  It is called...don't laugh..."You're Going to Be Okay".  I am actually loving reading it and it has a lot of great insights.  One thing in particular struck me today.

I was reading the chapter called, "You'll Remember these Words".  The author (Holley Gerth) talks about looking all over he house for sunglasses that were right on her head...sound familiar?  She takes that experience and turns it into a springboard to talk about things our heart often forgets and ... needs to be reminded of.

I liked all of the reminders, but the one I liked best was the one called "One Day You'll be Home".  She talks about sitting down with her husband to enjoy a nice lunch on the patio of their favorite restaurant when her husband quietly says, "That group of women sitting behind us is reading your book and discussing it..."  The author, Holley, talks about casually glancing over her shoulder to see about a dozen women sitting there with highlighted copies of her book and the tears that filled her eyes with joy at the sight.  She then goes on to say that she felt Jesus whisper, "Heaven is when you get to turn the chair completely around."

She goes on to talk about that all of us have a calling, whether it is writing books, being a mama, running a company, leading volunteer efforts, or even struggling through a crisis.  And how, that in that calling, you have to trust that there is more than you can see...that one day, you will be able to turn your chair completely around and see fully, see fully- the joy we are bringing, the lives we are touching through Him who guides us and allows to to see glimpses now and see fully when we are with him.  "Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."  (1 Cor. 13:12)

I thought this was so powerful.  I often feel overwhelmed with my life, with being a mom of three, a wife, a nurse practitioner...and maintaining active involvement with friends/family and church, while I also care for my body and keep some sort of exercise routine and healthy menu!  I have a hard time finding the quiet time I crave to even be able to allow God to speak to me.  I pray I make a difference but at times it is just so hard to see, especially when your two boys are fighting like it is their job!!-Not that I AM experiencing that or anything.

This idea of turning my chair around completely was just refreshing.  It also helped me to see that I am not in control.  I just have to allow God to use me and trust that he is doing so.  I may not even be aware of it, but I have to trust that he knows best.  He knows best for my kids, my Stan, my job, my friends, my family, my church.  Funny how the more I learn about walking with Christ, the more I realize my need to relax and let go of control which I continually try to take back- it doesn't work!!!!  Trusting him every step of the way will get me to that day when I can sit with him and watch how he weaved together His masterpiece of my life- using me to touch others and help them to see His face.  It's not about my plan, it's about His. That is my goal, my prayer, my challenge.

Now, to soak all of this up and practice the art of relaxation and peace as we head to the beach for a week...what a timely reflection...once again, that is not a coincidence.

One Day.

One day.  2 moms, 6 kids, 1 mini van, 1 "Frozen" movie, 2 coffees and... 1 thunderstorm.  One day. Countless memories.

Connor and Anna posing for a quick smile.

JD and Landon barely stopping walking to pose for this one...they had an absolute blast in the ocean. A true boys' delight.

Sarah and Rachel.  Sarah mentioned how grateful she was that we did this because it caused her to pause and just enjoy her kids without all the demands at home.  Amen, sister.  Doing life/motherhood with moms like Sarah is such a gift.  Such a gift that she takes time to reflect on the day and the impact it made on both she and her kids.  Awesome because that is exactly why I do some of the crazy things I do.  :)

Anna and Rachel.  Not really sure how Rachel feels about the big sister bear hug...

Delighted Lindsay Jane! Can you stand it?  That smile.  Those eyebrows?  :)

My three monkeys trying to cover themselves in sand.  :)

The littlest of the crew.  Who did GREAT by the way!

Another cheese by Lindsay Jane...

Om-I- Nous!!!!!  Sarah and I decided that if anything had prepared us for having to roll with a few ominous clouds at our day trip to the beach, it was having three kids.  We watched and waited and ended up heading to the car for lunch...Guess what, the storm passed.  We ate our lunch, the kids had a break from the sun and we ended up getting a front and center parking spot!!  Not too bad making lemonade out of a few lemons!!!  ;)

This was taken when we were getting ready to sunscreen up to head back out on the beach after lunch. Crazy crew...

These two were just having the time of their lives.  I loved to watch it.

JD stepped in for a squeeze.  :) Who wouldn't?

Back on the beach!  The much less crowded beach! Here Rachel and Lindsay Jane are passing a "Ribbit" back and forth.  :)

More smiles from Anna and Connor.

And, the infamous big dump trucks!

Truly one of my favorite things to sit and watch...is my little ones playing with these dump trucks.  Best. Toy. Ever.

It was worth including all the shots...just to really capture the craziness, but also the fun these kids had on our day trip.

One really cool thing that happened is that I ran into a couple I used to babysit for when I was in college...and now that little baby boy is heading into his Senior Year of high school!  Oye!  They also have three kids and said that they have been coming to Wrightsville for a day trip for years now as a treat to congratulate the kids on finishing up another school year.  Sarah and I had just talked about making this a tradition for the same reason.  It was really neat to see what fun, even a senior, freshman and middle schooler could still have with the 'rents at the beach...  This sweet couple also really encouraged Sarah and I in our efforts to bring the kids to the beach.  What a blessing.

It was such a great day.  The kids had a blast and will always remember the fun on the beach...and I will always be thankful that Sarah and I took a risk.  It was well worth it.  I will do it again.  :)

Hope you enjoyed.

"Looks" like fun!

These three.  Oh, my.  Are wearing me out.  Lindsay Jane has decided that she MUST sit on the bench with her brothers.  She wants to do everything they are doing!!  Here, they are eating their breakfast.  Three little munchkins, amigos, rascals...

So, we have started trying out some of the homemade activities I have found on the Internet.  You may have seen them posted.  Let me explain the title of this post as I take you through these activities...

Making sidewalk paint bombs!  The kids actually really liked this activity.  You take vinegar and cornstarch, put in a little food coloring and them a "baking soda bomb", seal it in a bag and throw it on the driveway. The kids loved watching the colors bleed out and did some stomping to help them along the way.

Landon also got in some running.  He is striving for the "fastest boy in 1st grade"...taking after his dad who was once named "the fastest 3rd grader in Alamance County".  Big shoes to fill!!

Fun times with my sweet Lindsay Jane who is getting so big...and opinionated!  I asked her to pose for the picture and she said, "NO!" She then turned around with this little grin...

She was running away from me when I snuck up on her and snagged this shot!

We also tried the tin foil river.  See Connor?  Oh my word.  It is like he is 13.  He had the worst attitude when I did this with he and Lindsay Jane.  He has been saying a whole lot of "you never let me do anything fun" or "you are a mean mommy" or "you are the worst mommy ever!".  Let me tell you.  Though this activity may "look fun", and really it was in many ways, my little 4 year old is having some lessons in gratitude and pruning right about now!

Lindsay was very interested, which was good, but everything she did was wrong, according to her brother.

Face.  I mean. Really?  Connor has been such a sweetheart and still is, but he is really having an attitude lately.  It is so hard and I am having to do a lot of deep breathing.  I was glad to hear the pastor say today in church that it is ok to be angry!!!!!!!!!!!  (...just don't sin while being angry...).

Lindsay Jane, putting her little boat in the water.

Connor starting to get a little interested, but don't let mom know...

Is that a smile????

Face!  Again!  Look at that pout.  I am telling you, it took all I had to be around this little one the morning we did this!

But...then there was this face. :)

Onto walking with bubble wrap on their feet on paint splattered paper.  I thought he would love this.  I even put on the Frozen Soundtrack, his favorite.

Lindsay Jane was a trooper!

Connor said, "This is not fun, my feet hurt, I want to go swing, this is boring."

Lindsay Jane loved getting a chance to take off her little bubble wrap and go barefooted.

I think at the end of the day, it was a good day.  I ended up being able to talk to Connor about a grateful heart and also feel like he is going through a bit of a transition.  He really wants to be like Landon and be grown up.  This means that he is pulling away from me a bit.  He has always been so sweet and probably says that he loves me more than he says anything else.  He needs me through these times of testing and boundary pushing more than ever...but it sure is hard on my heart.

Lately, parenting has been tough.  I have to share these times too.  It is a journey and I am so grateful to be on this journey.  I often feel so sensitive to being thankful because I did wait and pray to be a mommy and have so many friends who have suffered losing pregnancies and children or never having children.  So, I try to always keep gratitude at the forefront of my heart, mind and writing.

But, it's good to be real.  I work really hard to help these kids have a well rounded childhood and to be outside! Why is this so novel?  I am getting a lot of push back from both boys because they want more electronic time.  It is so hard because they are seeing what "everyone else gets to do" or "bring on the bus" and I am a real stickler for the 2 hours at most a day of screen time.  I know that there have been times when they have had more...and days they have also had none...but the balancing act of raising kids in this technology driven world, has me regrouping.

I am planning for the summer, I am taking the time to pray.  I am drawing the line in the sand on the boys refusing bedtime and then being up before 6.  I am talking with Stan so we can be a united front.  I am weary and summer is only beginning.

Does this make you feel better?  I really don't have it all together.  I am doing my best but there are days...and one happened this past week, where I go into the bathroom, turn the fan on and scream.  It does help. ;)

I would not have it any other way.  I love my children and the challenges that come with parenting.  I feel constantly drawn back to my dependency and need for God's grace in all things. Being a mom makes me raw a lot of the time, and that place of constantly needing help keeps me dependent on him.

And then, there are times like these!!!!!!!!!  Landon's first grade "Aloha to First Grade Party" at school!  I got to go in and assist.  The kids had a blast and Landon is just thriving at Woods Charter.  I could not be more pleased with his education and the blessing it is to have him with these crazy kiddos!!  It is a little family.  See how happy my little man looks, there, right in the middle of all of his buddies.  :)  Does a mommy's heart good.