Love as doing...not feeling

I read something this week that struck me: "Love is something we do, not something we feel."  It was in this Blogpost that I also really resonated with...and that also led me to The Message version of that all too familiar Scripture in 1 Corinthians 13...

"Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end."

I love how reading different versions of the Scripture can open your eyes to insights that you may not have seen before.  I particularly like The Message because I feel I can identify with the words that Eugene Peterson uses...especially when he says things like, "It doesn't fly off the handle..."  I get that.

When I saw the picture that the author posted with her writings from the referenced Blogpost, I paused...

"Love is something we do, not something we feel."

I agree with this mostly.

But then I started to think about Jesus and how he lived his life of doing love.

What an example, a perfect example.  I also recently resonated with a piece from the book, "You and me Forever" that is a book about marriage not being forever, it's until death do us part...then comes eternity...and what are we doing to prepare and equip our spouses for their eternity (great book by the way)?  The piece I resonated with was about Jesus and his life, his sacrifices, his hurt, his pain, his rejection.  Frances Chan said, and I am paraphrasing "Do we really mean it when we say we want to be more like Christ? Do we know what that means? It means rejection.  It means pain. It means total self sacrifice."

Total self sacrifice. This is NOT of this world.  It is not "fair" in this world.

I thought about this in light of the love thing I mentioned...

If love is doing and not feeling...what does that look like?

And what does that statement do to all of those time when I say, "I don't feel loved?"

I will admit that is a hard pill to swallow.  I think it is because of this world we live in and the influence it has over our daily actions and thoughts.  This is a "me first" world and I get swept away in that.  That is not the way of Jesus.

Dare I say...what would Jesus do if he came home and day after day saw a mess everywhere he looked, saw piles of things undone that he knew he had to do...the list of these things endless...even down to replacing toilet paper rolls that no one else will do!!

How would he respond?  Would he say, "It is not fair that I have to do it all!!  I need some "me" time too!  What about my needs?"  

No he would not.

Do I really want to be more like Jesus?  Do I really want to do more loving instead of feeling it?

This is how I am feeling, like David:

Psalm 40:13-17The Message (MSG)

13-15 Soften up, God, and intervene;
    hurry and get me some help,
So those who are trying to kidnap my soul
    will be embarrassed and lose face,
So anyone who gets a kick out of making me miserable
    will be heckled and disgraced,
So those who pray for my ruin
    will be booed and jeered without mercy.

16-17 But all who are hunting for you—
    oh, let them sing and be happy.
Let those who know what you’re all about
    tell the world you’re great and not quitting.
And me? I’m a mess. I’m nothing and have nothing:
    make something of me.
You can do it; you’ve got what it takes—
    but God, don’t put it off.

God, don't put it off...God help me!

And, he is, he is always waiting for me to come to him and to learn from him. He knows what is best for me and that is spending time with him, spending time reflecting on his word and on his truths.  The more I do this, the less likely my days are to unravel and to spin into the self sacrificing pity party.

It makes me think of the way I view our decision to have Connor is ballroom dance...You might think that he readily goes each week.  He does not. He does a lot of the time, but he also fights me.  I battle in my mind...should I make him go?  I see his talent, I see his heart, mama knows better than he for he cannot see what I see.  How can I convince him that this is for his good in so many ways before his is mature enough to realize it himself?  Until that day when he says, "Thanks, mom, for pushing me to do that...and thanks mom, for spending that special time with me."  He is being exposed to culture as all of the instructors are Ukrainian, he is being exposed to etiquette, in how to treat a girl, in manners, in how to hold himself, in how to work hard to meet goals, in how to bloom outside of the shadow of his older brother...but he does not see any of this. Mama does. Mama also sees the importance of time away with this sensitive middle child of mine, time at dinner, just the two of us, to allow his soul to release and shine.

What is it that God sees and I do not?  I cannot figure out why some things are the way they are.  Why the crucibles in my own life?  Why in yours?  I don't see the big picture, but He does.  He sees how the crushing nature of my job and other struggles are good for me, somehow. He sees more than I see.  He knows my heart, so much more than I know Connor's and I feel know that so very well as his mama.  He longs to spend time with me, even more than I long to spend time with Connor.  And in the same way that I delight in seeing Connor shine...thinking about God seeing me that way, brings a big smile to my face and my heart.

So love is doing. Love is choosing. Love is a feeling too...but we all have learned that feelings aren't what we trust because they change and are so dependent on circumstance.  Today I am going to choose to do love...and pray that my sweet family sees it, while I look to see the way God is doing things in my life, loving me through it all.