Enjoying the Journey

Lately I have been reflecting on this desire of mine for perfection, for excellence in all things. Certainly a known weakness, this trait is not entirely bad.  As I sat, reading a book about being unhurried in this life, I paused to think...is it wrong to strive for excellence?  How is striving for perfection or excellence different from living a hurried life?

"Hurry rushes towards the destination and fails to enjoy the journey" - Alan Falding

Well, then.  I have certainly had difficulty enjoying the journey lately...largely related to my busyness in my striving...  The things keeping me busy are mostly necessary or of value...or are they?

Working part time in this hurried culture is a flat out joke.  They want (and require) far more than my 20 hours.

Those extra hours bleed into my hours to complete grocery shopping, cooking, doing laundry, cleaning dishes and assuring my kids have proper fitting clothes for each new season.

Then there is my health.  I have to sleep.  I strive to exercise and set a good example for my kids with doing so.  I do have to eat.

Homework, bath time, bed time, getting kids to and from school, required volunteer hours at school, check ups, wellness visits, follow ups, meetings at school, I am sure I missed something...like feeding them...oh, and then there are the giant birthday parties I like to throw...

Church. Serving in the church. Spending time with God.

Marriage? Actually spending time enjoying my kids?  Toilets? Changing the linens?  Extended family? Friends?

Quiet space? Only between the hours of 11pm and 5am reliably...

What I have started thinking about is this: How can I still do all of these things AND enjoy the journey.  How can I stop the hurry?  I think, especially, when it is not just me that I am corralling...

Was Jesus in a hurry?  Nope.  I was struck when the book I just started reading mentioned the story of Lazarus and Mary and Martha.  Jesus was in no hurry to get to their house and Lazarus died on his way!  But, he had the blessing of knowing God's plan and the miracle he would perform in bringing Lazarus back from the dead.  He knew God's bigger plan.  And...guess what, so do I.  I know that he works all things out for his glory and our good...so why do I so often question?  Why is it so hard for me to just trust the process, just enjoy the journey?

I am not anywhere near as patient, kind, knowledgeable, etc., etc, etc. as Jesus was on earth or is now...but I can certainly learn from his example and stop striving just to strive.  It is very addictive. The fast paced technological world we live in does not help.  Instant gratification is everywhere. And, I am the worst offender.  I want my emails and texts answered immediately.  I worry if they are not and begin a viscous cycle of "hurry worry".  Hurry worry is the worst.  It leads no where and is just like a snowball plowing down a hill never to stop until it crashes into something and explodes!

I do believe that striving for excellence in raising my children, growing my marriage, serving the Lord and serving the children under my care as an NP is not a bad thing.  I believe balance is hard and not easily attained at this stage in my life.  And that is ok.  I also believe that hurry can steal my joy in the journey and I look forward to discovering some biblical truths to help me slow the pace.  I don't want to miss the scenery along the way.

Today I sat with my sweet Lindsay Jane, she in her Frozen pajamas, baby in her little carrier right next to her, popcorn and m and m's in the bowl in her lap.  I donned my Eeor fussy pajama pants as she leaned her precious head on my shoulder and we watched Cinderella together...with my cell phone put away and silenced.  I sure enjoyed that part of my journey.  And the truth is, I have enjoyed many times like that in my journey thus far with my kids and with Stan.  And am planning many more.