Quiet and Waiting

Being quiet is not one of my strong suits.  And...it is not easily found within my sweet abode at this point in raising three active little joys.

Waiting is also not one of my strong suits.  And...I am surrounded by impatient little blessings who challenge my patience on a daily basis.  And patience is directly related to waiting.  Nope, not good at either.

It is amazing to me how often God brings me back to these two words: "Quiet and Waiting".

Quiet as adjective- "carried out discreetly, secretly, or with moderation"
Quiet as noun- "absence of noise or bustle; silence; calm
Quiet as verb- "make or become silent, calm or still"

Waiting- "the action of staying where one is or delaying action until a particular time or until something else happens."

Let me tell you a little story.  Stan and I live in a home that was originally an empty lot in our neighborhood, covered with lovely old trees.  As with many lots of land that fit that description, time came for it to be sold and developed.  So, the crew that cleared out a space for our sweet little home, did just that, they cleared it.  So sad for all of those trees and I am certain the neighbors were not exactly thrilled about the loss of their forest view in favor of large trucks pushing away the earth and its lush vegetation.

When they cleared the lot, the pushed all of that lovely North Carolina red clay into a bit of a mound in the back yard, that they then covered with some random bushes, a magnolia tree and mulch.

If you know anything about North Carolina clay, you know that it is much less than desirable as a soil for growing plants.

Get the picture?

Needless to say, none of the original plants that the builder planted survived, except for the azaleas I transplanted and the extremely hardy and clay loving cyprus trees.

My dear gardening friend, Janise, has been telling me about her transporting in of good soil by the truck load to combat this issue...and man, her yard would make anyone think that planting in NC was easy...but she is not your typical gardener.  :)  I joke with her that she is a pioneer woman- certainly having many of the necessary skills to have survived way back int he day, off the land.  I stand in awe sometimes.  :)  That ain't me.

So, since transplanting a truck load of soil has never been a real option for me (cue the hubs here), I have had quite a journey in figuring out what to plant and where to plant it, to assure that each plant in it's uniqueness, has the best chance for survival - and then there is the flourishing and fruit bearing part.

So, you may remember this post from a long time ago: Grateful for My Gardener.  In re-reading it, it is amazing what I have to update you on...

You see, it says that I pruned this particular Magnolia Tree that I referenced as one of the original trees planted in our mound of red clay.  I was trying my best to wait and to care for this tree in the best way that I could.  I got lime, I fertilized, I watered, I read up on the care of Magnolias.

I also referenced the fact that it took 10 years for a Magnolia to become established.  Well, friends, that was this year...

I dug it up.  And this is what I found. A circular ball of roots, choked out by the inability to permeate the red clay, thus stunting its growth in a way it could not possibly flourish and bear fruit.

I also referenced that I had dreamed of planting a Crepe Myrtle tree there...4 years ago.  Well, look what I replaced that Magnolia with...

Waiting- "the action of staying where one is or delaying action until a particular time or until something else happens."

After 4 years more of waiting, totaling 10 years for the magnolia tree, I decided it was time to uproot and time for the good soil, the more native and hardy tree for NC clay and more potential for flourishing in beauty in my backyard.

Guess what happened on the way home from the nursery, with the beloved tree, the 4 year old dream coming to reality?  An entire trunk (note I did not say "branch") snapped off.  This, after I convinced Stan to help me dig out the Magnolia, went to pick out the Crepe Myrtle and could not get it to fit in the van, so I had to wait longer and have Stan go pick it up in his truck for me...yes, Stan transported it home...which on it's way, it snapped.  And, I have never payed 120.00 for a tree. And. And. And.

I took a deep breath.  I saw the hurt in Stan's eyes for me and he offered to buy me another tree.  I did call my gardening expert, Janise, and she helped me with sympathy (great friend) and pruning possibilities to prepare for best outcome for the tree.

I then went on a run.  I knew I needed to set my mind in a better place and needed to pray.  You see, this past year has been a really hard year that I have referenced many times. Stan and I hit 13 years of marriage this year and it was a one of our hardest years to date.  It was hard because we tackled a challenge that we were not prepared for- anyone relate?  We both dealt with the challenge differently. It was hard because we were in new territory.  We both felt as if our roots were like that of the magnolia tree...bound in a soil that was not giving or forgiving, was stuck and was hard, gave no place to go except for around in a circle.  Chasing our tails is a mild way to describe this past year.

So, to have this new tree that I have been waiting for and I have been QUIET about, snap before even getting it into that great soil and prepared place... hurt!

As I ran, I prayed.  God directed me to an established Crepe Myrtle tree, one that had at least 15 years on my new little babe.  It looked as though it had a similar break early on.  That break had been nurtured.  That break had been pruned, with the advice of an expert gardener (thanks Janise) and had sprouted off a "V" shape, which was beautiful, and gave way to two trunks instead of one.  The tree was exquisite.  It was established now, but had weathered who knows how many storms.

I thought about the way God works and specifically, how he has worked in my marriage and my challenge this year.  It has been so hard to wait for His timing.  It has been hard to be quiet and also to know when I really don't need to be quiet.  This year Stan and I hit a crossroad.  It was not a break, because we will not be broken.  But, it was a place where we had to hit something head on, in our faces, that we were not prepared for.  For better or for worse, in sickness and in health...and in sickness and in health of those you hold dearest.

I thought about Stan and I sitting on our back deck in 20 years and looking out at that Crepe Myrtle tree and remembering this year.  And seeing the quiet and waiting that IS watching a tree grow- and seeing the fruits of good soil, good pruning and good light from the sun - as the tree has been placed with such care.  Just like the Lord placed Stan and I together.  He is our good soil.  He is our SON. He prunes us the way only he can.  And His pruning is the best.  His pruning allows for a different type of growth, one that may not be what we expect, but in the end, is for our good and His glory. Praise be to God that he is my gardener.  He wants to be yours too.

"...in quietness and trust is your strength..." Isaiah 30: 15

"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion.  For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!" Isaiah 30:18